Thursday, May 6, 2010

Release the Hounds!

I have a secret.

After all of the kids are quietly tucked in for the night, I like to snuggle up in my jammies and release all the pressure from the day-- literally.

Every night I have the same odd thought.  When I go to unhook my bra it feels as though I'm unleashing the hounds.  I have to make sure the kids are in bed because someone might lose an eye.  Geez, my bra is like a giant damn and when it's unhooked-- all hell breaks loose.

Is it just me?

It seems as though the older I get the more unruly the girls have gotten.  There is no hiding the fact that I'm not wearing a bra.  It's jiggle fest 2010. 

They make all of these cutie jammies that are supposed to make you feel sexy-- uh, yeah right.  They look flat and saggy no matter how you slice it unless they are properly caged up in my old lady bra.

Nothing makes me feel sexier than putting on my Olga bras in the morning.  (You know, they could have named it something that feels a little less Viking and a little more feminine.)  Either way, they hoist me up and keep me perky, so I can't complain.

Sometimes when I'm shopping I see a lady with boobs to her waist flopping all over tarnation and I always want to take her aside and pass along all of my proper bra knowledge (that I have acquired from Oprah).  Or how about the lady who is stuffed in so tight she has the rare and exotic quad boobs.  You know when your bra is too tight and you have muffin boobs.  It doesn't have to be this way ladies-- suck it up and buy the right size already!!  There is no shame in a "D."  I like to think it stands for Dainty, Daring, Delightful, Deluxe or Dynamic

I like my girls sitting at attention with everything moving in the right direction.

How about you?

7 comments:

Pearl said...

ummm...yeah! The girls need to be taken care of and treated properly and that means a good bra!

I, on the other hand, hate "releasing" the krakens from their cage. They are much better behaved if kept in closed quarters. Plus the mister leaves them alone when they are caged. ;)

annie said...

as a newbie to the 'D' world - I must say I am getting used to them - but your right - the girls must stand at attention!

Estee said...

same here, though I'm DDD... It was suppose to go down after I stopped breastfeeding, but it never happened.

Brenda said...

I LOVE taking off the ole' bra every evening!

Cassie said...

I have to admit I could use a new bra these days...I HATE bra shopping!!!

Cheri said...

I'm with Cass. I hat bra shopping even more than swimsuit shopping, so sometimes I might not be sporting the perfect fit.

Wendi said...

I just wanted to say I just ran across your blog and I absolutely love love love it!!!!!! I love to laugh and I love to laugh about stuff that I can relate to even more! My husband was in bed when I was reading over your blog and I was laughing so much he got up and wanted to know what was so funny!

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