Idiot Flyer

I have a tinsy problem.

I embarrass myself on a daily basis.

It's not like I'm trying to do it.  It just happens.  A lot.

I took a trip last week to visit some family.  I was traveling alone (no kids) and so I got a chance to get some reading done and catch up on a few TV shows.  On my lay over I was waiting at the gate and so involved in my entertainment that when they called for volunteers to gate check bags, I went right over.

The lady took my ticket and filled out a gate check really quickly, thankful that I had volunteered.  I boarded the plane and went back to my book.  A few minutes later a family came by and told me that I had taken their seat.  I showed them my ticket to prove that I had the right seat and the mother called over a flight attendant to help us with our "problem." 

I told the attendant that it wasn't a big deal and that I would sit anywhere.  She thanked me and glanced at my ticket revealing that I was on the WRONG flight.  My flight was the next one to Salt Lake, not this flight.

Um, ha ha-- woopsies.

The attendant escorts me to the back of the plane and announces over the loud speaker that everyone in line is going to have to turn around and get off the plane to let a passenger off.  I told her that really wasn't necessary because I could just wait until everyone was boarded and then discreetly sneak off.

No.  That wasn't in the plan.

She announces it again and everyone proceeds to exit the plane so that I can make my walk of shame.

I get off, red faced and explain what happened to my old friend the ticket taker.  She checks the flight and lets me back on the plane to an empty seat.

It was a conversation starter with my fellow passengers, that's for sure.


Don't mind me, I'll just be your flight moron!!!

The Claw

A few weeks ago my sister sent me this...

If you don't know why, check THIS out.  It made me laugh out loud when I saw it.  When I was a kid, I was hopelessly addicted to these little babies.  I would spend whatever money I had sure that I was going to win the prize.  It never-- I mean NEVER, happened.  So it has become the family joke.  When my sister saw this little version she bought it just for me.

It's been a few years (OK, a lot of years) since my claw days so I popped it out of the box and filled it up with treats.  I figured it couldn't be that hard-- right?

Well, it was.

That hurt my pride.  a lot.

I tried again and again and.... nothin'.

When the kids got home from school they wanted to try it out for themselves.  I warned them that it was really hard and not to get too discouraged.  Then I walked away and left them to figure my lesson out the hard way.

They never learned that lesson.

They just kept winning.

That hasn't been so good for my dwindling pride.

Stupid Claw.

Cat Lady

The Mister asked me about ten times if I wanted to go with him to pick up his dry cleaning today.  I finally agreed and as we were pulling up he says, "This is why I wanted you to come with."  He points to these signs hanging in the bushes outside the store.

He went in and got his shirts and I snuck out of the car to snap a few pictures.  Just as I'm shutting the car door he comes out.  He looks at me with knowing eyes.  I look of guilty, I'm sure.  He says, "YOU DID NOT!"  I say, "I sure did!  You can't make this stuff up!"

Our questions are,

Who is the cat lady and does she know that they call her the cat lady?

Is she slitting open big bags of kitty chow for all the neighborhood cats at the local dry cleaners?

Why the dry cleaners?


Talk amongst yourselves....

Snow Days

We got snow-- lots of it.

The kids woke up to school canceled and snow drifts half way up the door.  It was kid heaven.  We busted out the hot cocoa and cinnamon rolls to celebrate the perfect day.

So today I'm playing cruise director in my own home.

Do you need an activity?

How about a snack?

I'm your sucker!

Sick Day

This past week I've been battling a cold that just won't quit.  I wake up feeling like my head grew ten sizes in my sleep.  My throat is soar and scratchy and I just feel yucky.

I have come to realize that being sick is both bad and good.

The bads are-- well, you're sick.  duh.

The goods are you have an instant excuse for anything that may go wrong.

I don't get sick very often but when I do my kids approach me with caution.  They look at my very intently like I might be taking my last breath.  They think I'm old enough that I could keel over and die any second.  They have been very helpful and willing to do whatever I've needed them to do this week.  Well, you know, it might be the last time they ever hear my voice....  sniff sniff.

I have found that whispering, when sick, is an excellent way to get your kids' attention.

Me:  Do you think you could do your laundry?

Kid:  Sure Mom no problem.  Do you need anything else?

Me:  No, I'll be ok-- really.  Cough Cough

Kid:  Oh, I hope you feel better soon.

It's been several days worth of eating out, extra attention and a quiet house.  I'm pretty sure the Mister is just about done with sick me.

I've been milking it just a little-- maybe.  But hey, this is as close as I can get to a vacation.  Don't judge!

Dinner Disasters

Well, it's that time again-- New Years.  You can go to the store and find oodles of work out equipment and stacks of plastic containers.  I think all retail shops think we should be thinner and more organized. 

I've given up on both.

Well OK, if you're going to pressure me like that-- than yes, I did cave and buy two pieces of Rubbermaids.  I have dreams of organized Legos.  It was just the one purchase though, I swear.

Anyway, one of my goals this year is to get my kids to eat food.  After visiting many peoples homes this holiday season I came to realize that my kids are mutants.  They don't eat much outside of yogurt and bread.  With that in mind I have decided to start cooking things I'd like to eat and hoping that the kids will cave and join in.

Day 1:

Chicken Pillows

Breckyn:  The bread is pretty good but the guts are nasty and I don't eat chicken.  Can I have something else?

Zoey:  It's OK.  I'll eat it if it really means that much to you.

Rugby:  Nope.  I don't like it.  What's in it?  Can I have Pop Tarts instead?

Em:  There is no way I'm eating that.  (After some persuasion he sat with a bite in his mouth for several minutes refusing to swallow.)

Day 2:

Manicotti
(which I might add is basically different shaped spaghetti)

Breckyn:  It's OK if there wasn't so much sauce.

Zoey:  I think it's pretty good.  (plate still pretty much covered with food)

Rugby:  Can I have more garlic bread?

Em:  I'm not eating this!  (After much persuasion a few bites went down.)

Day 3:

Enchiladas....

I'll keep you posted.




Tell me it's not just me?

Where Toast Goes to Die

Toast.

It sounds so simple and yet so complicated.

I want to have some toast.  So I put in my nice fluffy white bread and click.  My warm crispy creation is on its' way to perfection.  I stand and watch the timer count down.  It says 45 seconds.  I think, "Hmmm, I could get some of these dishes put away in 45 seconds.  No point just standing here."

I go to put away the dishes and feel like turning on a song.  Once I have my music picked out I go back to the dishes.  Then I notice the table needs to be wiped down and I get right on that.

I remember my toast.  Dang it.  It's cold and hard.  Well, I might as well not waste perfectly good bread.  I'll just pop it down for a few more seconds and it'll be good as new.  Click.

The timer says I have 45 seconds which is plenty of time to clean my sink.  Then when people come over they will think the whole kitchen is clean because the sink is shiny.  Humm humm humm my clean clean sink.

Sink is clean and toast is well... toasted.

Can you cook toast three times?  Why not?  Three times the charm.  Click.  I think I'll go change the laundry...

Several hours later...

I feel like some toast.  Oh, geez who left nasty crusty toast in the toaster?


Me and toast, we have issues.

Back to the real world

It's hard to get back in the blogging groove after a long break.

My brain feels like jello.

I think I have holiday hang-over or something.

Tomorrow I'll be sending the kids to school and staying in my jammies for a while just because I can.

Tacky... maybe, but much needed after a long action packed break.

Here are just a few things I learned this holiday season...

1.  Kids come with two volumes.  Loud and LOUDER.

2.  The older your kids get the more expensive their wish list is.

3.  Dogs can and will punish you for staying away too long.

4.  Target has really good chocolate covered butter toffee macadamia nuts but they are only sold at Christmas time.  They are sold out at all of our Targets.  I really need some right now.

5.  Laundry piles up at our house quicker than you can say dirty socks.

6.  There should be two holiday breaks.  One for family and one for you all by yourself. 

7.  Pee does not just flush into the air from an airplane and land on people's heads.  OK, I already knew that one but I had to prove it several times to my kids.

8.  You can love a gift and still have to return it.

9.  You can buy all the Rubbermaid bins you want-- the basement still will not stay organized with kids living at home.

10.  I am in love with sunshine.  I need it.  I want it.  I crave it.  California has a lot of it.  Couldn't they just share it with us sometimes?

Brain Barf

In an effort to catch up on several posts that have been swimming through my brain, I'm going to do a quick brain barf to bring you up to speed.

This week my parents officially picked up their things and moved to Utah.  Boo Whaa!  Utah is the black hole that keeps sucking in all of my loved ones.  Stupid Utah!

I have been consoling myself with these chocolaty rectangles of goodness.

I'm planning on giving them away as my holiday treats.  Some people spend all day baking.  Not me.  I prefer not to freak people out with the contents of my kitchen.  I figure it's more comforting to get a treat that is sealed properly in a wrapper than something that may or may not have dog hair in it.  I'm a weirdo-- I know.

Oh and yes, I'm officially a psycho dog owner.  I have been Christmas shopping online.  I'm stumped as far as my family members go.  Seriously.  I've got nothing.  So when I hit the wall, I start shopping for dog stuff.  I've found lots of fun stuff for my furry little friends.  My favorite thing is THIS.  I promise this toy is everything you think it is and more.  My dogs are in heaven.  If you don't believe me just watch this...

Big guy and little guy are highly entertained by this amazing invention.  It's a hands-free way to give your dog some exercise.  I'm a big fan of walking my dogs but sometimes they need a little extra something to work their mind and their bodies.  I used it the other night while I made dinner and they were so pooped-- it was awesome.  The laser show has several different pattern settings, speeds and timers to choose from.  It is super sweet and it goes for $35.  The hand held version is $20. 

My hidden talent is finding really great dog stuff.  Shhhh, don't tell anyone or I'll look like a bigger freak than I already appear to be.

I'll be back tomorrow with a few things you'll never believe my kids said.

Thanks for stopping by.

Do you Snore?

I have always considered snoring to be a man's sport.  Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are many a lady snorer out there but it's just not dainty.

I have teased the Mister excessively about his snoring habits for many years.  He is a mouth breather so his snoring is a special kind of torture.  I make it a point to try and fall asleep first so I don't have to listen to his mouth music ever.

The other day we are discussing his breathing habits and he tells me that I snore too.

WHAT!?!?!

The world as I know it came to a screeching hault.

I told him to take it back in my most offended voice.

He wouldn't.

So I asked him to prove it.  I made him show me exactly what I sound like.

He obliged.

I was horrified!  HORRIFIED!

I told him he must be lying-- it's the only reasonable explanation.

He denied the accusations of his honesty.

So I've been forced to reevaluate the picture of my daintiness.  Could it be so?  Am I suddenly in the Big Momma Club?  Should I start watching football and eating chicken drumsticks?  Should I start wearing sweat pants and scratching myself?  Should I mow the lawn in my underwear too?  Where does it end?

What has happened to me?

Help!  I'm a hideous monster!  Save yourselves!

Are we late yet?

This morning I was getting the kids ready for church and it was taking forever.  We started out having a ton of time but by mid-schedule all the spare time had disappeared.  So there I am in the middle of the bathroom with four kids each in different stages of ready-ness and my survival mode kicks in.

Rugby was trying to get dressed in a shirt that had gone through the wash with its' sleeves rolled up.  It was a wrinkly mess.  So I grabbed the straightener (you know, for hair) and pressed the sleeves with that.

Emerson was dancing around in his undies and still hadn't managed to put on his socks in the last fifteen minutes.  I sat on the floor and put the dang things on for him to avoid yelling.

Zoey didn't have a thing to wear.  NOT. ONE. THING.  I took her over and introduced her to her closet where there are in fact clothes there to wear. 

Breckyn was messing with the dogs and had taken it upon herself to start training them right then and there.  A quick redirect and we were almost home free.

By the time everyone was downstairs and ready to go the only one left in jammies was me.  As a mom sometimes we get the short end of the stick.  It's called taking one for the team.  There is a reason I have short hair and mornings like this is exactly why.

So today I am thankful for...

1.  frozen waffles that cook really fast
2.  straightening irons that multitask
3.  wrinkle free black skirts
4.  short hair
5.  clocks that are actually 5 minutes fast  (then you really aren't that late)


What are you thankful for?



Oh, and don't forget to sign up for the CSN Store giveaway below.  And hey, thanks for reading my blog.  I really like you.

Hulk Halloween Madness

The mister and I went to our big Halloween party as Betty and the Hulk.  It was a nod to our super hero love.  What can I say, we have issues.


In other news, I've been in a bit of a blog funk.  I'm sure you have noticed.  Things have been hoppin' around our house and I haven't seem to have found some solid time to blog.  This morning it was clip my toe nails or blog-- I went with the toe nails.  Sorry, but it had to be done.  I've been working on a scheme to free up some time but for now, I'll do what I can.

Some of the best things about this blog for me are...

1.  your comments
2.  your comments
3.  putting my stories to life and letting my personality shine
4.  having my kids know me better now and in the future
5.  your comments


So this show isn't over yet.  Stay tuned.  Tomorrow Little Miss Thang is featuring a piece I like to call, potty talk.

brain barf

OK, so I know I've neglected you a little in the last few days.  Sorry.  I've taken on a task that turned out to be bigger than I anticipated.  I should be finished by the end of the week and then we are back to business as usual.

Any who-- I've had quite a few things on my mind.  So, it's time for a brain barf...

1.  I absolutely HATE spending money on Halloween costumes.  There-- I said it.  I'm that cheap mom that tries to dress her kids up in whatever is lying around the house.  I refuse to pay $30 for some super thin flimsy costume that will fall apart after 2 wearings.  Geeesh-- give me a break!!!

2.  I have cleaned up enough dog hair to knit 25 sweaters!  Seriously, what do you do with all of it?  I'm thinking of filling a comforter or some pillows or something.  It's EVERYWHERE!

3.  Brownies were created just for me.  Nothing soothes my soul quite like a nice chewy frosted brownie.

(Brief intermission while I go eat one.......)

OK-- I'm back.

4.  Do kids have to grow up all at once?  Can't they just give us a little time to adjust?  One day they are asking for you to cut up their food and the next day they want to wear dangley earrings.  Could they just slow down a little bit?

5.  Teevo is the best invention since toilet paper.  Isn't that sad?  I feel like both are of equal importance in my life.  I can't make it without either.  Period.  I vow to never watch live TV again.

6.  My kids go through scotch tape like water.  They are always taping something to the wall or fixing something with it.  Last night I took my socks off and there were several globs stuck to the bottoms.  They offer to improve everything with tape.  They tape stuff to their stuffed animals, the dogs, each other-- they really aren't picky.  They will put it anywhere.

7.  I have a secret love of purses.  I can't have too many.  I like to switch out my purses every couple of weeks.  I have a rotation of about 4 at a time.  When one wears out I get another one.  Oooooh, there is nothing like a good purse.  If I see one I really want, I'll wait it out until it goes on sale.  It's worth it.

8.  Grocery shopping, laundry and dishes-- they are never done.  They always need to be done again and again and again and again.  I give up already!  I need a robot to do it for me.  Just keep a constant stream of laundry dishes and groceries coming because we all know it will never end.

Halloween Horror

So I'm home alone the other night and I have most of the lights off and the kids are asleep in bed.  The dogs are sprawled out on the floor drooling and all of the sudden the big guy starts barking.  I nearly pee my pants because I'm still not used to having such a big bark around the house.

I sense no immediate danger so I keep blogging.  Big guy goes out the back door for a security check around the yard.  I think, "Whatever.  No one will even think of sticking around if they see big guy."

Then the door bell rings and it's pitch black outside our house.  I jump about 10 feet.  I muster up the courage to go to the door.  I turn on the outside lights and see a skull with a candle lodged in its head but no one is there.  FREAKY!  SUPER WAY TOTALLY FREAKY!

As a side note there are two things you should know about me.

1.  I HATE to be scared!
2.  I HATE to be scared!

With that in mind, I see the skull and immediately start to slam the door.  Just as the door is closing I notice a note wrapped around the candle with a bow.  Now, skulls and candles are scary but whoever thought to tie a bow with grosgrain ribbon is probably not.  So I open the door and carefully grab the skull.  (You know the kind of grab you do when you are sure the object is toxic.  I've got like two fingers barely touching the thing-- nasty.)

It turns out it is an invite to a Halloween party at our friends house.  Thanks for the creepy invite guys!  I am officially creeped out.  You scared the crap out of me.  I'm a total Hallo-weenie.

Now, the best part about this is we are required to dress up as a famous couple.  That's where you come in.  Who should we be?  I need some goooood ideas.

Flashbacks

I got a shout out after THIS post about past memories to step it up and let it fly with flashback music.  So here goes...

I was obsessed with Milli Vanilli.  I had their tape and I played it all the time.  And yes, I am aware of the scandal and I just don't care.  They were good to me.

Remember when you had to rewind tapes and try to catch the song at the beginning?  Then we stepped it up with tape players that would rewind one song at a time.  Oh and how about making a good old fashioned mix tape?  Classic and frankly not the same anymore.  It's easy to slap together a few songs now days and send them to a friend.  But on tape you actually had to listen to each song and try to time it just right.  Ahh, the good old days.

How about some Paula Abdul.  I don't care what she did on AI-- she will always be the 80's music magic for me.  I loved her sweet moves.

My Dad bought us all tickets to a Richard Marx concert because my sisters and I just loved his music.  So we went-- the whole family to our first concert.  We bought t-shirts and sang along-- it was awesome.  My sisters even got the sheet music so we could play his music for ourselves.

Vanilla Ice was of course a one hit wonder but totally classic.  I loved his dance moves and what can I say-- his rap just spoke to me.  Cheesy and totally cliche-- but you can't get past the fact that we all liked it.


I'm not sure why I remember this but I do.  I can't remember if it was just a show or a real group but I remember the music.  Help me out here.  It's burned in my brain for life!  Who else is with me?

If I go a little older and venture into my high school years it's safe to say that my friends were obsessed with Pearl Jam.  I had all of their CDs but they were stolen from my car in college.  It's probably a good thing I don't have them anymore.  But if you want to take me back to high school this is the band that takes me there instantly.

How about you?  Any good ones I forgot to add?

Big Guy

I know I keep putting off the blog this week but for good reason.  I took on a big challenge this past week. 

A really REALLY BIG challenge.

 His name is Flash and we have had a bit of a transition adding him into our family.  First off he is HUGE.  Secondly did I mention he is HUGE.  We have a 9 lb. Schnoodle puppy that doesn't shed and is hardly any work.  Flash is closer to 100 lbs. and he sheds like nobodies business.  He is a German Shepherd and yes, we did get him Furminated this weekend which has helped a ton.  My heart goes out to this guy.  He is amazing and super smart.  We rescued him from a bad situation.  He had been crated all day every day.  But you'd never know it because he is so good.

He is awesome but it's a bit of a change going from a tiny guy to a big guy.  The two dogs get along really well and big guy is super gentle to little guy.  The kids are obsessed with playing fetch with big guy and so there is never anyone around to help out when I need them.  I've called them in from outside about a gazillion times this week.  (and no I'm not exaggerating-- much)

In other news Em and I have been having a debate all week long.

Em came home from school talking about a new friend that he made.

Me:  That's great.  What's his name?

Em:  Horse Way

Me:  Umm... do you mean Jose?

Em:  No, Horse Way.

Me:  Could it be Jorge?

Em:  No Mom, it's Horse Way!!!

Every night at dinner he brings up his friend and the rest of the family tries to guess what this kids' name could really be.  It's become sort of a game for our meal time.  I'm going in to help out in Em's class Thursday and it's killing me to know what the kids' name really is.  Tonight I've realized that I'm going to feel really really stupid if the kids' name really is Horse Way.  But what are the chances?  Right?

Addiction-- it could happen to you

My name is Leca and I am addicted to cherry infused soft drinks. 

It started off very innocently.  I had a really rough day and I needed a kiddie cocktail to calm my severed nerves.  But one just wasn't enough.  I had started a little fire inside me that could not be put out.  At first it was just kiddie cocktails at home.  Then I started ordering them at restaurants.  From there I moved to harder things like Dr.Pepper and Cherry Coke.

Don't judge-- OK.  I'm pouring my heart out here.


Anyway, I thought I could quit any time but it turns out that it's harder to do than it sounds.  Help!  Me and my cherry soft drinks are hiding out here in the closet typing away.  I can't stop!  I think about them everyday!  I've started buying Grenadine by the case loads.  I have them hidden all over the house.  Is that so wrong?  At least I can assure you that I never do it with the kids around.  That is a total disaster because they actually expect me to share with them-- uh, no.  That's just crossing the line.

What can a girl do?

Stretchy jeans, how do you get so stretchy?

Dear Stretchy Jeans,

I love you so very much.  I think we are soul mates.  Not just because you are always sitting there waiting for me on my shelf, but because you get me.  You let me eat donuts and funnel cakes without making me feel strangled and bloated.  You still cling to me even during flu season when there was less of me to love.  You support all of me-- even my back side.  You never judge and you are always comfortable to be with.  You will be my friend forever.  You make me feel pretty.  I hope you are never out of style.

Forever Obsessed,

Leca :)

Christmas Vacation

Today I told the kids that we only had three months left until Christmas.

Weird.

Breckyn debated that my calculations were off because none of the leaves have even fallen off the trees yet.

Point taken.  But I'm still right.

I asked the kids if they would like to exchange home made gifts this year and use the money we would have spent on each other to go on a family trip.

Rugby wanted to know when I would take him to the store to buy a home made gift.

I didn't even bother explaining the concept to him further.

Then the plans for a trip were starting to form in their little brains.

Zoey lead us in the first suggestion-- Paris, France. 

Breckyn piped up with Hawaii or Mexico.

Rugby was favoring Texas.

Emerson thought it'd be a good idea to go to Seattle and meet iCarly.

Then they swayed towards taking a cruise around Mexico and Hawaii so they could jump ship and scuba dive from time to time.  Oh, and could they get those drinks that they serve in a coconut with the little umbrellas too?


I'm pretty sure the Mister is thinking smaller than Paris and Hawaii.


Do any of you have really great ideas for family friendly trips? 

More Sweet Flash Backs

OK, since you guys are enjoying geekin' out with me, I'll add just a few more.

Remember Perfect Strangers?  I loved Balcki Bartokamous.  My favorite was when they started a cream puff business and they all blew up.  Good stuff...

I dream of Jeannie.  Oh, I wanted to be her.  I loved her outfit and I'd have so much fun blinking up some wishes.

I also watched Sledge Hammer and ate mac and cheese with my sisters on Saturday nights when my parents were out on dates.  We loooooved our Sledge Hammer.

I failed to mention my sweet sweet love for Batman, the Hulk and Wonder Woman.  I think that goes without saying.  I started early with my hero love.

Ahhh, the good old days....