Wednesday, December 22, 2010

We're all gonna die!

I have to tell you that I just love Christmas time.  I mean-- I'm a serious Christmas nut case.  That being said, I have to take a little break and party until after Christmas passes.  I can't handle you guys and all the cookies I just have to eat to make the holiday proper.  You understand-- right?  You're the best!  See you after the holidays...

In the mean time...

We took a little trip to visit some family (another reason for my lack of posts) and Emerson was seriously concerned about our travel plans.

Em:  Mom, I don't think it's a good idea to fly on a plane.

Me:  Well, you know planes are pretty safe buddy.

Em:  Um... what if we crash?

Me:  We won't crash.

Em:  Well, I'm not sitting in a window seat that's for sure.

Me:  Why not?

Em:  Because everybody knows if you sit in a window seat-- you die!

Me:  What?

Em:  If the plane crashes and you're sitting in the window seat you always die.  But if you're sitting in the middle you just get hurt really bad.  I'm never sitting in the window-- ever!

Me:  If the plane crashes we're all pretty much dead anyway.

Em:  Moooom!  Well, at least they have parachutes...

Me:  They don't have parachutes on the airplane.

Em:  Oh no, we're all gonna die!

Fast forward to the trip....

Em:  (Chanting really loudly)  We're all going to die!  There is nothing holding us up in the air!  We're all gonna die!  What was that?  Is this thing really safe?

Me:  Em, you have to pipe down cause you're scaring the other passengers and we're NOT going to die.  People fly all the time and they are just fine.

Em:  OK, but we're so going to die.

Just so you know, we didn't die and we are back safely on the ground. 

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas!  I just love you guys!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I Want...

Have your kids ever wanted something so dumb for a present that you couldn't even bring yourself to buy it?

My kids are amazed and intrigued by the weirdest things at the store.  The other day Zoey picked up a rubber band ball and it spoke to her.  She was immediately attached to the thing like it was magic or something. 

Emerson has been wooed by paper jams.  I can't wrap my brain around that one.  It's paper and it's an instrument?  How is that not going to break in 2.5 seconds?  Really?  The Mister was trying to talk me into buying it for Em for Christmas and I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  Paper music?  No.  Sorry.

Breckyn is immediately convinced she can't live without anything sold on an infomercial.  She has been entranced with the automatic toothpaste dispenser.  It is an instant must have.  What's not to like about hands free toothpaste?  How have we made it this long without it?  She actually pauses TV and makes me come and watch the infomercials so that I can see the urgency of her latest find.  Perhaps we need to take cable away from that kid.
Rugby is my only dependable kid.  He folds when I take him into a toy store.  Once his Grandma took him to the store with a price limit and a whole lot of time.  The decision was too much for him.  After about an hour and a half he declared that he would rather have nothing than have to have some much pressure put on him to decide.  Really?  So he just likes whatever is put in front of him for the most part.

What's the lamest thing your kid ever wanted?  Did you cave and buy it?

Sunday, December 12, 2010


So, I've sorta been avoiding you.  Sorry.

It's been a crazy week here and I haven't had a moment to clear my mind and post for you.  So in an attempt to make it up to you I have some recess drama you might like.

Breckyn announced at the dinner table that someone at school had broken the kid code.  There were gasps around the table.  I looked at Breckyn slightly confused.  She clarified, "OK, so there isn't and actual kid code written out-- but everyone just knows it."  She explained that there was a girl at recess who was ratting out her fellow classmates to the dragon lady (A.K.A. the recess teacher).  The kids stared at her in disbelief.  Rugby demanded that the taddle tale be dealt with.  He came up with a list of ways to deal with her.  (too quickly if you ask me)  I asked if it was a kid that no one liked.  Breckyn assured me that the kid is pretty well liked and that was the weirdest part.  She was going to get to the bottom of and fast before she became the next victim of the recess nark.

My children take recess very seriously.  They get upset when new rules are made and carried out.  They think it should be their free time to run wild and enjoy their friends.  They come home with complaints daily about a certain recess teacher that tries to rule their free time.  They were outraged when the said teacher showed up with printed rules for games around the play ground that she was going to enforce.  Breckyn said she could never bring herself to play four-square again because the new rules were stupid.  Rugby was banned from jumping off the swings in different super hero poses by the recess dragon.  Em had to stop his game of chase the girls and Zoey has been prevented from playing some game where some kids have to walk around with their eyes closed.  (but that one sounded sketchy anyway)

So you can imagine my surprise when one of my kids came home from school a while back and informed me that they were playing pole dancing at recess.  I stared at her with my eyes all bugged out and asked her to say that again.  She said, "I've been playing pole dancing with a group of girls at recess."  I was shocked and abhorred that my little baby was pole dancing at recess-- POLE DANCING!  I asked her if she knew what pole dancing was and she said, "Yeah, it's when you dance around a pole.  We dance and lots of people gather around to watch us.  It's cool."  I tried to tell her that pole dancing wasn't the best thing for her to be doing.  She asked if she could just call it dancing around a pole and that would make it better for me.  I explained to her what pole dancing actually was and her face went white.  "Mom!  I didn't know that!  That's not what I'm doing!"  I banned her from playing with those girls and told her it was probably not a good idea to dance with a pole again-- EVER.

 So dragon lady is enforcing the rules of four-square but pole dancing is OK?  What?!?! 

Perhaps the most entertaining part of my day is hearing all about the recess drama from my kids.  It never gets dull.  It's better than soaps.

Just in case you are wondering, we are fans of the Disney show Recess.  I'll leave you with a clip because if you don't watch it, you should.  It's a kid classic and it's all about-- well, recess.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


I have a rule about dreams.  They should NEVER be shared.  EVER.

I'm not talking about the change-the-world-motivational kind of dreams.  I'm talking about the I-just-had-the-craziest-night-sleep kind of dreams.

Have you ever been with someone who says-- I had the weirdest dream?  Or better yet, I had a dream about you last night....   um, awkward. 

We all know that dreams can be weird and anything goes in dream land-- so why try to explain it to someone else?  It will never make sense to someone who didn't dream it themselves.  It makes people feel weird and uncomfortable.  It's like asking someone to pick your back zits-- you just shouldn't do it.  No one really likes it. 

Anybody with me?

What's your most awkward dream conversation with someone?

Friday, December 3, 2010

Sneaky Presents

This is one of my favorite Christmas moments.  I just love Christmas Vacation.

Do you have a place where you hide all of your presents?

Do you leave them out right under the tree?

Do you have to change up your spot every year?

Where is the craziest spot you've ever hidden a present?
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