Sunday, April 18, 2010

My Little White Lie

When the Mister and I were dating, we talked about our future life together in romantic bliss.  Wanting to be everything for him that he was for me, I may have misled him a little about my hobbies and interests.

His family is into camping and outdoor-sy stuff and he was a dedicated Eagle Scout that loved a good campout.  So naturally I wanted him to feel that I would support him and our future family by showing interest in camping.

I was lying through my snooty white teeth.

In an attempt to right my lie, shortly after we were married I took a camping class at college.  We studied ways to build a fire, safety, knots, nature and for the final, we had to go on a three day camping trip in the mountains.

We were instructed to bring our camper pies (You know the meat and potatoes tinfoil wraps-- yuck!) to have an opening meal together as a class.  On my way to camp I stopped at Mc D's and grabbed a burger and quickly wrapped it in tinfoil.  I ate quietly in the corner while my fellow classmates enjoyed their wilderness food. 

As the night wore on I quickly realized that I was going to have to brave the outhouse or explode.  I waited until the last possible second and then braved going inside.  I approached the hole with mixed feelings.  On the one hand, I really had to go.  On the other, there was a deep dark hole of abomination that I was not about to straddle.  I let out a little shriek of terror and decided that it was a better idea to pee behind a tree a few yards away.  I mark that as a particularly low moment in my life.

Then came the horror of sleeping outside, bugs and all, wind blowing and nothing but my thin sleeping bag to separate me from the elements.  I froze my tushie off.  I didn't sleep a wink.

I tried really really hard but I'll be the first to admit that I officially hate camping!

My idea of camping is sleeping with the window open.  You have all the comforts of home mingled with the sounds of nature breezing in through your portal to the outdoors.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good camp fire, some hot dogs and s'mores.  But I could do without the outhouses, lack of water and no showering. 

To show my ever generous support, I had the mister install a fire pit in our back yard.  We can have a camp fire moment anytime we want while still being shower fresh.

That sounds reasonable-- right?

The sad part is, I've kinda rubbed off on my kids.  I let them "camp" from time to time by setting up a tent in our front room.  They love it and so do I.

S'mores anyone?


Beth said...

OH MY GOSH. DITTO. DITTO. DITTO. To all of it. I have a fire pit in my backyard, I love S'mores, campfires, etc.. but I also love showers and toilets. SOOOOOO with you on this one.....

Margene said...

We still love you even if you don't want to go camping with us. I really don't like camp fires because you always smell like smoke and no place to show in a tent. And I am getting too old to sleep on the ground, too. little secerts of mine.

Brenda said...

I LOVE it that you wrapped McDonald's in tinfoil and ate it shamefully in the corner! I didn't realize that you could actually TAKE a class on camping! About your "snooty white teeth", when you and Tim got engaged, I remember Dennis saying, "You can tell her dad is a dentist, look at her great teeth!"

Cheri said...

Right on! I'm sure you're not the first woman to have lied about a love of camping. You can send your kids to our backyard to "camp" anytime...or even our family room. I'll even buy them cheeseburgers wrapped in tinfoil.

April said...

I couldn't agree more about the outhouses - I refuse! However, I do like camping. I like it even more that we got the biggest tent imaginable at Costco. It can fit our aerobed and a pack-n-play comfortably. We borrowed a friend's car-lighter adapter to blow up the bed. And, campgrounds with real bathrooms are a must.

Macey said...

Leca, You are out of your mind. The tin-foil dinners are my favorite food when camping. I've even made them at home. I am getting too old to sleep on the ground, thank goodness for air mattresses.

kristen said...

I had that same camping class and it snowed the night we went camping, not fun. Mike and the kids put up the tent and camp in the back yard, they camped under the trampoline in the winter and built a snow fort this winter and slept out there. I was very happy to sprawl out in the king size bed. That is our answer to not having a camping trip.

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