My Eyes

I have birthed four children, lived through 12 years of marriage, trained a puppy and my body is starting to show a little wear and tear.

I have only one body part that is always on my team.  My eyes.

I love them. 

They are the one body part that has not gotten fat no matter how many pieces of cake I have eaten.  Some days they are the only thing that makes me feel pretty. 

They help me scope out trouble making children and the little lies on their faces.  They look great in sunglasses (I never have to go up a size-- I can buy right off the rack.)  They help me express my many emotions and a whole lot of drama.

They help me keep the fire going with the mister.  They wink-- everyone loves a good wink.  It makes you feel all silly inside.  I can dress them up or dress them down and they still look gooood.

So today I'm saying thank you to my eyes.  I really like you.


What's your favorite body part?

iPhone Envy

I want an iPhone more than anything!

I've been dropping hints to the mister for quite some time now.  (at least a year)  This past December I had the mister in the store, iPhone in hand and a willingness in his heart when a sales lady asked if she could help us.  I panicked because I didn't want the mister to be distracted or deterred in any way until my phone was purchased and safely resting in my purse.

She kindly offered to check my cell phone account and see if I qualified for my annual update.  (I'm thinking, you know I won't-- it never works out that perfectly!  Just go away stupid sales lady!)

My phone did not qualify for an update until April 15th.  (duh, of course it doesn't)  She told us if we waited I could save several hundred dollars in the purchase of my new phone.  (wait is a four letter word in my book)

Grrrrr!  That's just what the mister wanted to hear.  She was basically telling him to run for his life and abandon all plans of making his wife the happiest woman in the world.

I hate that lady.

The mister told me that it was probably better if we waited and saved a little cash.  He blabbed on about how my cell phone was just fine and it wouldn't kill me to wait a bit.  (He said this very smugly for a man with an iPhone resting quietly in his pocket.)

I conceded and made him mark the date in his calendar as "the day my wife will be happy."  Then I made some well placed comments in his direction to remind him of my our plans.  My answers to questions go like this, "Hmmm... good question, I think I'll look it up on my iPhone.  Oh, that's right, I don't have one."

You may have noticed that April 15th has come and gone and I'm still crabbing about my iPhone or rather my lack of.  The mister found THIS ARTICLE on CNN that says iPhone is coming out with its next generation in a few months.  He thinks I should wait just a little longer and have the newest model.

I have a bit of a patience problem.  I am a now person.  The fact that I've waited this long is a small miracle.

This also smells a little of I-don't-really-want-to-spend-the-money-so-I'm-stringing-you-out.


Should I wait?  Perhaps I'll distract him with THE LAWN MOWER and go buy the damn thing myself.  I think I could hide it a few weeks-- maybe.

Tips for the House Slave

Sometimes I feel like the slave of our house.  When messes get made and everyone has to whirl off to their important business of the day I'm left here just staring at their messes.  After a few minutes of pouting I usually end up just picking it up myself.  Well, I don't want to be staring at it all day long.  Don't judge.

Here is a quick list of short cuts that I like to use around our house.

1.  I put a layers and layers of aluminum foil in the bottom of our oven.  When an explosion or bubble over occurs all I have to do is peel off the top layer and I am back to a nice fresh clean oven.

2.  Leave cleaners under every sink in the house.  I hate chasing around my cleaning supplies and toilet brushes.  Just leave the right supplies under every sink and when you need it, you've got it.  My personal favorite is Clorox wipes.  I've got a bottle under every sink for those little pee drops boys like to leave behind.

3.  My kids make a pond on the counter every time they wash their hands.  To stop this I've put a folded up wash cloth or paper towel under each soap dispenser to sop up the mess.  My countertops are now pond free.

4.  I have three methods to keeping my bathroom smelling freshly cleaned. 
     a.  I always leave the ceiling fan running during a shower and at least 10 minutes after.  That way your shower won't smell damp and moldy.

     b.  There is something to be said for the Febreeze plug-ins and air fresheners.  They work magic.

      c.  You cannot live without the scrubbing bubbles toilet gems.  Your toilet won't smell like pee anymore.

5.  Change your sheets once a week and wash them in HOT water.  This includes kids' blankies, stuffed animals and special pillows.  You can machine wash all of these and help prevent your child (and yourself) from so many potential germs like acne, bed bugs, lice, ring worms, and other nasty things.

6.  Change your hand towels every other day.  (It prevents so many germs and illnesses)  In fact yesterday when I was out shopping I discovered these disposable towels from Kleenex.  I'm already a huge fan.

7.  Toss some water and baking soda (or lemon juice) in a microwave safe bowl and microwave it for 3-5 minutes to steam off all the grime build up in your microwave.  (I know you have some.)  Wipe it clean and it smells so nice.

8.  Keep your sidewalks and garages swept clean.  Your inside floors are only as clean as their lead ins.  As much as you think everyone might wipe their feet or take of their shoes-- they don't always do it.

9.  If you don't want to clean because it's just too much of a hassle put a little money into short cuts.  It's better than living in filth.  My favorite short cuts are, paper towels, disposable toilet scrubbers, windex wipes, swiffer wet or dry, Clorox wipes, the Shark steam mop, the Swiffer vacuum, Purex laundry soap sheets and Electrasol dishwasher tabs.

10.  This is the best tip yet.  Have your kids and your husband help out.  Kids can pull their weight too.  My kids clean bathrooms, vacuum, mop, do laundry, dust, pick up toys, change sheets and other things.  They really can do it.  If Goob can do it, your kids can too.  If you think they are a little too young assign them something easy like giving them a Clorox wipe and having them wipe down the door knob and light switches.  It makes them feel important and it helps you get a clean house.


You don't have to be a domestic goddess to have a clean house.  Anyone can do it with the right motivation.  Happy cleaning!

Cookies!

I have been out playing in blog land and I came across something so spectacular-- you need to know about it.

Mrs. Field's has a blog.  She has recipes galore and lots and lots of cookie porn.  I stared, I drooled and I copied some recipes. 

Anyway, this week Kami at No Biggie is helping her give away some free cookies. 

If you love cookies like I do, go and check it out.  You could be snuggled up to some Mrs. Fields cookies by the end of the week.

YUM!

The Trots

I'm at my favorite store today (Target of course) and I'm all by myself.  I'm giddy with the knowledge that I don't have to answer to anyone and I have a few hours until I need to be anywhere.

I begin my usual routine, combing up and down the isles taking in all the wonderful products just waiting to be bought.  I find myself reciting in my head, "you don't need that-- keep walking."  But how can you not stop and gawk when you are all by yourself with no one to judge you?  Hard-- I know!

I try on clothes, pick out this summer's nail polish colors, grab a few bottles of soap and like thunder it hits me.

I have to go to the bathroom right this instant!

I hate having to do doodles in public because... well...  it's just awkward-- OK?

I realize that I cannot wait a moment longer so I turn my cart towards the bathroom.  At this point I'm annoyed that I don't have a kid with me to blame for the mayhem I'm about to cause in the bathroom.

I fly into the bathroom and to my surprise, its completely empty.  Booyah!

Pressure is off and it's time to get to business....

Within seconds about 500 people suddenly need to go potty too and begin to crowd into the bathroom.

AWKWARD!

I try my best to do some courtesy flushes-- but seriously, that's not helping much.

I finish up and open the door to a ginormous line that has just formed in the ladies room.  How can I do this gracefully?

I choose denial and immediately divert my eyes to the floor.  I do the hand wash of shame and pray that I won't see that poor soul who took my stall anywhere in the store. 

I want to yell out, "I'm so sorry!  It just happened!  I'll go buy you some air freshener or something!"

But instead I go about the rest of my shopping kinda low key.  A few short isles later I almost plow into my new stall buddy with my cart.

Whoops!  Sorry.... again.

It's time for me to leave.

The HORROR!

I HATE getting the trots in public!  So embarrassing!

The Theme Park Education

This past weekend we took the kids to an amusement park.  What better way to expose our children to the diversity that this world has to offer than at a theme park?

We live in a small town in Wisconsin and our kids live a fairly sheltered life.  They aren't exposed to all the colors of life very often.  In fact a few years ago we are out shopping and Breckyn yells, "Mom, I see Oprah!"  (Just because she's a black lady, doesn't make her Oprah honey.) 

Que theme park and gawking children...

Now keep in mind I live in Wisconsin and the weather is still a bit chilly which means that all crazy hair styles, boobs, tattoos and random piercings were covered up by coats and hats-- thank heavens.  I only had to answer half the questions I would have normally been asked if the tats were out.

I'm standing in line for a ride with Breckyn and she is staring so hard at a couple making out that I had to shake her back to reality and then the questions start.

"Mom, why are they doing that here?"

"Umm, good question.  Hey look, a bird!"

I go with the distraction method because I hate public groping and I'm pretty sure the snoggers can hear everything my kid is saying.

Then I find my mind wandering.

"Where are those kids' parents?"
"Who lets their kids go to make-out capital alone?"
"Is it really safe to make-out with braces?"
"Won't they get pretty cut up?"
"I never did kiss anyone when I had braces."
"OK, so I got them off in the seventh grade and I was in a bit of a dry spell-- but still."

I look down and now it's Breckyn that is looking at me and trying to get me to stop staring.

There is no education like kind you get at a theme park; so we got seasons passes!

The Leca Approved Diet

I've come up with an experienced list of things that will help you solve all of your diet problems.

1.  If you eat a donut for breakfast you will avoid those "sweets" cravings after your meal.

2.  Nuts are supposed to fill you up with lots of healthy fats and keep you full through out the day.  Just make yourself a batch of trail mix (you know the kind with M&M's and raisins) to munch on all day long.  Problem solved-- you're nice and full.

3.  Always hang out with people that are fatter than you.  It's a feel good thing.

4.  If you drink a lot of water.  When you weigh yourself you don't have to worry because it's all water weight anyway.

5.  Take your sex starved husband with you when you try on bathing suits.  He'll love what he sees no matter what.

6.  Dark chocolate is healthy for you.  This means that its cousin milk chocolate is good by association.

7.  Wear stretchy jeans (they forgive a lot).

8.  The smaller the mirror, the less you'll have to see.

9.  Smile, it burns calories.

10.  Having a two year old counts as an extreme diet.  I dare you to try and sit still for more than 3 minutes.  Pretty extreme huh?

Digger's Hotline

The mister was doing a little work in our back yard this week.  He called digger's hotline and asked them to come and mark the electric and gas lines.  They were all booked up until next week. 

Well, he didn't let a silly little thing like that stop him.  During a digging break the gas guy called and said he could come right away.  Perfect.

I went to go see how it went and I found this.

Ummm...  whup-see-ding-dongs!

Sometimes I wonder how this guy is still alive with all of his crazy stunts.

Ring Ring, It's for you...

I absolutely hate when people are talking on the phone and then try to talk to people around them at the same time.

I firmly believe that when you are on the phone, you are on the phone.

I'm not going to stop my conversation with you to yell at my kids, say hi to someone else, answer another call-- no, you are my number one priority.  If this changes, I will politely excuse myself from our conversation.

If you are expecting a call or you know you are going to be occupied-- then don't answer the phone!!!

There is nothing that drives me nuts like someone talking to me on the phone and still trying to maintain a conversation with an entirely different person.  How about the twerp that tries to email or watch TV and talk on the phone!  Argh!

NO THANK YOU!

I will talk to you when you have time to talk.

This has become a source of contention for the mister and I.  When I am on the phone I completely tune out all other noise around me and maintain concentration on my conversation.  I never hear the mister ask me questions or acknowledge his presence at all.  This drives him completely insane!

Sorry, I can't help it.  That's how I roll.

What's your phone hang-up?

Magic Pants

Last summer I discovered these little beauties.  I bought myself a pair and wore them hard all summer long.  They were comfortable, just over the knee and they looked dressy with the right top.... blah blah blah.  They were basically my magic pants.

When I find something that I love, I go out and buy it in every color and live in it.

So I set out in search of my summer supply of magic pants and I found just what I was looking for.  Jackpot!!  I quickly snatched up a pair and headed to the dressing room.  I immerged proudly sporting my perfect find.

The sales lady that was helping me says, "You know, some people can do knit and some people can't.  You definitely can't."

I just stared at her....  blink blink.

I don't know what hurt worse; knowing that I can't wear knits or knowing that everyone on the entire planet has already seen my butt in these pants for a whole summer!

Thanks lady but you're a little too late to this party.  I'll think of you every single time I pull on my pants of shame!

Do these pants make me look fat?

(No, your butt does!)

My Freak Secret of the Day

I love to mow the lawn. 

Yeah, I know I just lost almost all of you; let me explain.

The mister and I have our house jobs lined up into two departments.  It's either his department or mine.  His consists of taking out the trash, buying electronics, killing bugs and answering the door when I'm not wearing a bra.  I handle things like puke, cooking, mopping the floors, taking the kids to school and getting the mail.

For years mowing the lawn was strictly his department.  He put some money into the perfect riding lawn mower and he protected it from me like his little pet.

Then a few summers ago the mister threw out his back while attempting to construct this playhouse for the kids.

That was my big chance!

I got my hands on his pretty pretty little pet...

I love it!  It drives like a dream!

Now that he is all better we have a silent war going on at our house.  Who will get to mow the lawn?

I wait until he has a really big important phone call for work and then I sneak out into the shed and snuggle up with my orange stallion. 

The mister does the same dirty tricks to me.  He tries to distract me by offering to watch the kids so I can go to the store.  The next thing I know, he's out on the lawn mower.  Evil Genius!

What's your freak secret?

Breaking Hearts and Wind

The mister and I love to go out on dates together.  We make a point to either get a babysitter or put the kids to bed early and get pizza and a movie.  It happens every Friday night.

When we head out on the town we try to spice things up like we did when we were dating.  The mister will dab on a little cologne and I'll put on a little extra make up.  He even opens the car door for me.

On one such occasion I told him how cute I thought it was that he always opened my car door and tucked me in before going over to his side of the car while we were dating.

His reply was classic...

"I only did that so I could go around the back of the car and fart without you noticing!"

My prince.

My Little White Lie

When the Mister and I were dating, we talked about our future life together in romantic bliss.  Wanting to be everything for him that he was for me, I may have misled him a little about my hobbies and interests.

His family is into camping and outdoor-sy stuff and he was a dedicated Eagle Scout that loved a good campout.  So naturally I wanted him to feel that I would support him and our future family by showing interest in camping.

I was lying through my snooty white teeth.

In an attempt to right my lie, shortly after we were married I took a camping class at college.  We studied ways to build a fire, safety, knots, nature and for the final, we had to go on a three day camping trip in the mountains.

We were instructed to bring our camper pies (You know the meat and potatoes tinfoil wraps-- yuck!) to have an opening meal together as a class.  On my way to camp I stopped at Mc D's and grabbed a burger and quickly wrapped it in tinfoil.  I ate quietly in the corner while my fellow classmates enjoyed their wilderness food. 

As the night wore on I quickly realized that I was going to have to brave the outhouse or explode.  I waited until the last possible second and then braved going inside.  I approached the hole with mixed feelings.  On the one hand, I really had to go.  On the other, there was a deep dark hole of abomination that I was not about to straddle.  I let out a little shriek of terror and decided that it was a better idea to pee behind a tree a few yards away.  I mark that as a particularly low moment in my life.

Then came the horror of sleeping outside, bugs and all, wind blowing and nothing but my thin sleeping bag to separate me from the elements.  I froze my tushie off.  I didn't sleep a wink.

I tried really really hard but I'll be the first to admit that I officially hate camping!

My idea of camping is sleeping with the window open.  You have all the comforts of home mingled with the sounds of nature breezing in through your portal to the outdoors.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good camp fire, some hot dogs and s'mores.  But I could do without the outhouses, lack of water and no showering. 

To show my ever generous support, I had the mister install a fire pit in our back yard.  We can have a camp fire moment anytime we want while still being shower fresh.

That sounds reasonable-- right?

The sad part is, I've kinda rubbed off on my kids.  I let them "camp" from time to time by setting up a tent in our front room.  They love it and so do I.

S'mores anyone?

Iron Man

Want to know how to spice up your errands?

Just take Iron Man along, I promise you it will be anything but boring.

Rugby insisted on wearing this mask all day long.  He went to several stores, to lunch, on visits, watched TV and attended his sister's birthday party all while wearing this mask.

This guy just keeps me giggling.

Confession

I hate doing laundry.

Many years ago I started doing something very shameful.

I wash our laundry and pile it up in Rugby's room so no one can see it.

I know, it's truly awful isn't it?

I only fold clean laundry once a week.  That way I'm only forced to do my most hated chore once in an entire week.  On Saturday morning I sit down and take on mount laundry.  Trust me, it's not pretty.  With 4 kids, 2 adults and a puppy, our laundry is sky high by the end of the week.

On the bright side, it has helped me discover a hidden talent I never knew I had.  I am the queen of laundry fishing.  If I need something out of our giant mound of clean laundry, I can totally find it in record time.  I have a sixth sense for it.  It's freaky cool.

Laundry-- you and I will never be friends.

Thanks to my friends at Random.org, we now have a winner!

Steph

Congratulations! 

Email me your information to taylors@genevaonline.com and it'll be in the mail tomorrow.

Thanks for all of your new music suggestions.  I'll be busy on itunes for a while.


(Comments off)

Can You Hear Me Now?

I'm getting the kids ready for bed and Breckyn asks me, "Mom, can you hear the washing machine going?"

I pause and listen, "Yep, that's the washing machine."

Breckyn looks puzzled and says, "Huh, that's weird."

I'm a little confused.  "What's weird?"

She proceeds to tell me that they are learning about the human body in class.  Today they learned that the optimum age for hearing is 8-18.  She wanted to know if I could still hear everything that she could hear.  She figured I'm so old that I'd be going deaf by now.

I look at her with my mouth gaping open.  "How old do you think I am Breckyn?"

"Well, I just wondered...." she says.

She makes me feel so pretty sometimes.

Magic Feet

On Sunday the kids and I are all ready for church; all we have to do is put our shoes on and walk out the door.  We have plenty of time to spare.

At twenty to ten I tell everyone to put on their shoes and get in the car.  Suddenly, both of the girls have NO shoes to wear because they are all too small.

Me: Um... didn't you just wear those like two days ago?

Zoey:  Yeah, but today they are too small and I can't wear them.

Breckyn:  I can't get mine on either.

No problem, I'll go to the closet and get out some I've been saving in a bigger size. (of course just a little too big)

After much squeezing and pouting they've got shoes on and we are in the car off to church.

Fast forward to Monday morning...

We're ready for school except for shoes and back packs and it's time to go. 

Same lines, same story.

Zoey leaves the house in shorts and fuzzy crocs.

Brecky leaves the house in weird polka dot shoes that I'm not even sure how we got.


Is it really possible for them to grow out of their shoes in a day?

Are my kids the only ones that wait until the last possible second to tell me of their shoe woes?

I was just at the store Saturday night people!  You were with me and didn't want to look at shoes!!!!  Not that I'm bitter, but gee wiz!

My Talents

I'm an Auntie again today for the 14th time.  Isn't she the cutest?

I found out today where my expertise is most appreciated; the maternity ward.

When people find out I have 4 kids they usually look down their noses at me.  "She has four kids!" they say.  It's almost as if I'm some exotic freak of nature.  Perhaps they think I'm a little trampy or maybe even a little slow.  Why would anyone have 4 kids?  "Are these all yours?"  (No, I just like taking around random groups of children from our neighborhood and they all happen to look just alike.)  DUH!

I'm here to tell you that on a maternity ward that inflection changes to, "she has four kids."  Like that is all anyone needs to know.  They say it as if I know everything there is to know about birthing, babies and kids.  I almost felt like a celebrity. 

"Let her through, she has four kids you know."  "Oh, four kids?  You sure know what you're doing then."

That's right, thank you very much.  I do know just what I'm doing.  I have four kids, no big. 

So, the next time I'm at the store warding off stares and glares from gawkers, I'm going to make a stop at the maternity ward on my way home.  Those people, they appreciate my talents.

Free itunes

Every year at the start of the summer I start down loading my summer fun music. 

You know, the music that makes you think of sitting by the pool with a big glass of lemonade and maybe one of those little umbrellas with some fresh fruit stuck to it.

There is nothing I like better than cranking my tunes and heading outside for some sun and fun.

You wanna do it to?

To help you kick off your sunny season right, I'm giving away one $15 itunes gift card.

All you have to do is leave a comment.  The drawing ends Wednesday at midnight.  I'll post the winner Thursday morning.

In the mean time, here are some of my summer fun song suggestions to get your list started.

Fireflies by Owl City

Why Do You Let me Stay Here?  by She and Him

Only You by Train

Fame by Naturi Naughton

Dirty Laundry by Bitter:Sweet

I'm a music junkie and I'm always up for some new suggestions if you've got 'um.

Confession

I am a time liar.

Yep, I like to under estimate my time. 

When I say that it takes me about 15 minutes to get ready in the morning; I mean more like 25.

If I say that I'm running late and I'll be there in about 5 minutes.  What I really mean is that short of a miracle and a few green lights-- it's going to be more like 10 minutes.

When I say that it only takes me 25 minutes to drive to Janesville, that means that I can't use my brakes and I have to keep my speed above 80 miles an hour.  Otherwise, I'll be there in about 32 minutes.  But doesn't 25 sound so much easier? 

That's how I talk myself into going grocery shopping every week.  I under estimate the actual time I'll be spending so it doesn't sound quite so long and tedious.  It's like a little time pep talk for myself. 

Come on Leca, you can do it.  It's only going to take you 45 minutes.  That's not so bad.  (An hour later, I'm actually done and I have fooled myself yet again.  Ha, I fall for it every time.)

I have a habit of under estimating my time so that it sounds better.  I know, it's silly but it makes me feel more efficient to say something short and easy rather than long and annoying.

I also have a habit of setting my clocks ahead so that I can be time lied to.  If it looks like I'm going to be late, it makes me feel better to say, "That clock is ahead so I'm not that late."

My kitchen clock is 5 minutes fast.  My car clock is 7 minutes fast.  My bedroom clock is 12 minutes fast (I really hate waking up in the morning and it works as a sleep buffer between me waking up, and actually having to be up.)

You'd think that time lying would get old.  It doesn't.

I always hope that I'll forget how fast I set my clocks and be really early.  Some how I always remember.  Funny how that works...

How do you take your time?

Shark-tastic

I'd like to present to you my latest infatuation...

I know, she's beautiful, isn't she?  I have been obsessing over this pretty little thing for several months.  Wednesday night the mister surprised me with my very own Shark steam mop.

I've been a little skeptical only because it was out of my usual price point for an instant buy.  But the mister helped me pull the trigger.  (Thanks again to my favorite husband of mine.)

OK, this is all you need to know.  It plugs into the wall and has an impressively long cord.  The heads are removable so all you need to do is clean and then throw it in the wash and you are ready to go again.  It comes with doubles of every mop head size (so you can wash and use at the same time).  That means no extra costs for future uses. It only uses water so you don't need to pay for any extra cleaning supplies.  You can use each side of the mop heads with a quick flip and keep cleaning as you go.  This thing is genius!  You don't have to keep going back to your sink to rinse out, you just go.  It has instant heat and steam and it cleans like a dream. 

I was literally singing while I was mopping my floors.  "La la la, I'm the luckiest girl in the world, la la!"  "I love you Sharkie la la!"

The mister told me he was glad I liked it and to remember that around Mother's Day cause this was my present for that.   WO WO WO WOAH!  Now, we all know that any sort of appliance or cleaning item does not count towards presents because they are to be considered work equipment. 

I then explained to him that I would still be accepting gifts like a new iphone (my deepest darkest desire), a pool, a tropical vacation, new furniture, or a puppy. 

Those seem like reasonable gifts, don't you think?

Yeah, I knew we'd see it the same way.

You must have the Steam Shark!  Your life will be so much easier!  I mopped in record time and my floor looks sparkly!  The mister admitted that he would even offer to mop the floors now because it was so easy.  (This is usually the only chore that he refuses to help me with.)

It retails for $120 (I know, a little pricey but well worth it when you add up all the money you spend on mops and chemicals now.)  at Target, Home Depot, Lowes, Kohls, Wal-Mart and other places.  Don't worry, you can get some coupons and be all over that in no time!

You can check it out online (video and everything) HERE.

On Wisconsin

Breckyn came home with this lovely poster from school yesterday.  I immediately told her that she was NOT hanging that thing up in our house.  (Breckyn has been known to bring home posters of the high school teams and display them all over our house with a generous amount of tape.) 

She told me that there was no way she was hanging this one up.  Then she asked permission to deface it with a marker mustache.  I told her to go talk to her Dad because defacing things is his department.

Apparently the fourth grade is when they cheese wash the kids' brains about Wisconsin.  Breckyn brings home a Wisconsin newspaper, that is a few pages long and only about Wisconsin history, every few days.  I have sat with her many nights trying to decode her mandatory worksheets on Wisconsin.  Granted I've lived here almost my entire life, but there are some things that stump me and make me wonder why it is that we live here.

Yesterday the school had the ultimate visitor.  The cheese ambassador herself, Alice in Dairyland.  She was there to answer any and all questions about our lovely state.  Lucky them.

Zoey came home from school with new found facts like; the Water Springer is the state dog.  Things I'm sure are vital to their academic careers.

Wisconsin,
we have Water Springers, cheese, cows, and of course Alice in Dairyland.  Come on, I know you want to move here.  We'll even throw in this lovely poster (which now has a mustache) for free.  Tempting, isn't it?

Classic Kid Lines

Breckyn: My teacher loves Nasty Car.

Me:  You mean Nascar?

Breckyn:  Yeah, nasty car.


Me: Basically

Breckyn:  My Great Grandma is 84 and she's not even dead yet!

Zoey:  Someday when I grow up, I'm going to live by Aunt Cassie.

Rugby:  No you won't.  When you grow up Aunt Cassie will be dead.  (Note to readers, Cassie was 25 at the time.)



On Emerson's first visit to the dentist he wasn't convinced of the dentist's credentials.
Emerson:  Grandpa's not a dentist, he's a grandpa!


After the birds and the bees talk with Breckyn her reaction went like this...
Breckyn:  Dad made you do that 4 times?
Me: Uh... yeah...
Breckyn:  Dad is so mean!


Zoey: I want lots and lots of pink stuff for my birthday.  I don't care what it is just as long as it's pink.
The Mister: What about a pink turd? (This guy always takes it to the next level.)

Zoey:  If it was pink and sparkly, then ok. (Perhaps her obsession has gone too far.)

Emerson:  You scared the hecks out of me!

What's for Dinner?

Dinner is served...

Stuffed Chicken, mashed potatoes, salad, jello and a big smile.  (I was very proud of my mommyhood right then; the meal was so balanced and responsible.)

Kids:  Awwww!  Do we have to eat this?  What is this?  (smile starts fading...)


Next Day; Dinner is served...

Macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dog chunks and apple slices on the side.  (The mister is traveling and I've been pushed to my limit.  In a quitter moment, I decided on kid food for dinner to avoid any more fights.)

Kids:  Wow Mom, you are the best cook EVER!  This is so gooooood!  (My eye starts twitching and my mind starts racing!!!)


What the?

Monkey Cake

This weekend I made the most amazing recipe I have ever tried.  It was in my book of family recipes from years ago and I've never really given it much thought.

My mom says it is knock-your-socks-off good.  So I thought I'd give it a test run this weekend.

It was a raving success.  I ate a healthy portion of the thing by myself.  It is everything good in this world wrapped up into one recipe.  You sooooo have to try it.

Monkey Cake

3 tubes refrigerated biscuits (10/can size, not flavored)
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/3 C. sugar
3/4 C. butter (1 1/2 sticks)
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 C. brown sugar
nuts (optional and so not my style)

Mix 1/2 tsp. sugar and 1/3 C. sugar together in a bowl.  Cut each biscuit into four pieces and roll each piece in cinnamon and sugar mixture.

Grease bundt pan (place nuts in the bottom of the pan or skip it if you are anti-nuts like me).  Drop sugared biscuit pieces in the bundt pan. 

Combine butter, 1 tsp. cinnamon and brown sugar in sauce pan; boil for 2-3 minutes stirring constantly.  Pour over biscuit pieces and bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes.  Cool and flip it out of the pan. 

Enjoy the buttery gooey goodness!

How to Train Your Dragon

This past weekend we took the kids to see How to Train Your Dragon.  It was hands down one of the best kids movies I have ever seen.  It was full of quippy lines, action, dragons and Vikings.  I went in with low expectations and came out wanting to see it again.  It was so entertaining, all four of my kids payed attention and never even talked.  (That is an all time family first)  I recommend taking a kid with you so that you can pretend like you are not going for yourself.  It makes everything less awkward.  Enjoy!

Passive Aggressive Notes

If you've never checked out Passive Aggressive Notes you have to try it.  It is a blog devoted to random notes that people have left each other around the office, dorm, apartment buildings ect.  It is so funny.  Again, it reassures me that there are people out there that are a lot crazier than me.

Here is a sample of a note to kick off your Easter weekend.  Enjoy!

Mighty Mouse and the Marriage Ref

We have an extra fridge in our garage for all of our food over flow.  I love having it because it makes my life just a little less complicated. 

Last night I went out to get myself a water bottle and I noticed an over powering stench.  I made the mister come out and witness it too.  He said he thought it could be a dead animal of some kind lodged behind the fridge.

NASTY!!!

So today we cleaned out the garage and pulled out the fridge.  There was indeed a dead mouse not under but IN the fridge!!!

I completely freaked and claimed the fridge to be condemned.  I even volunteered to push it out to the curb myself.

The mister however said that he could clean it out and it would be just fine.

Do you know how many germs mice carry?  Not to mention the fact that it was dead and rotting right next to the motor!!!!  SUPER NASTY!!

Since we couldn't agree, we decided to call in a marriage ref.

The call was made to my sister who promptly sided with the mister.  So naturally her vote didn't count.

I continued down the list to her husband.  He too sided with the mister.

Being completely alone on freak-out island, I caved and let the mister start cleaning.  My stipulation was that he at least wear proper protection when handling the said mouse.

Can you see the little bugger in there?

Here's a better view.

After a really lot of bleach and a few curse words, the mouse is now gone to a better place. 

What would you have done?

If you like being amused by other people's craziness, you should try the marriage ref.  The mister and I love it.  I validates us by proving that there are people out there that are crazier than us.  It's highly entertaining.  Here's a quick peek.

Try it, you'll like it, I promise.

The F word

Today was my day to clean out the closets and rotate the winter and summer clothes.  I had piles all lined up according to sizes in my room and I was making the kids try them on for the new summer season.

Rugby and Emerson were together trying on shorts and Emerson tells Rugby, "Those make you look fat!"

My eyes bug out and my jaw drops to the floor in complete shock.

The mister steps in and says, "That's a bad word and you shouldn't say it."  (I'm pretty sure the mister has been around long enough to know my hot buttons.  He's so smart.)

Rugby pipes up and adds, "Yeah, it's the F word!"

I couldn't help but giggle.  Perhaps it's not the F word but it's my F word.