The Swamp Monster

There are times when things don't work out quite as smoothly as they were planned. Case in point; This morning I was scheduled to go to Target and at the designated time I was not yet showered. I had been doing house work and had lost track of time. I weighed my options and it was either skip Target or go unshowered. I really really needed a few things from the store so I opted to just go and hope that I wouldn't see anyone I know. Right there should have been my giant waving red flag. If you hope to be anonymous at the store, the general rule is that you will see everyone you know. But, I ignored my intuition, grabbed a hat and headed out the door. My plan was to slink my way through the isles wearing my sweats with my hat pulled down low in hopes that I would not have to make eye contact with anyone. Inevitably it ended up more like that show, this is your life... Enter, stage left, old friend from high school that you have not seen in years. A few isles down is another mom from school who is looking particularly cute today. Then a friend of your husbands, an old acquaintance from church, or how about the nurse from your last doctor's appointment. You name 'um, I see 'um. Then comes the awkward moment of conversation when you have to choose to ignore the fact that you look like the swamp monster or acknowledge it. Never, NEVER again will I try to do a quickie run to the store unshowered. Although I already know that I will eventually do it again when the embarrassment of this visit has worn off. I have taken the kids to school in swamp monster mode and had to talk to teachers, parents and other kids. My child has announced in front of their class before that, "My mom is still in her jammies! She hasn't showered yet!" Thank you, wonderful child of mine, for out-ing me in front of everyone, just in case there was one or two people left who weren't sure.

And so I'm calling out to all of you overachievers who go to the store, school and other places fulled dressed, make-up on and smiles ready. Please have pity on the rest of us and avert your eyes when we slink by. We want to be invisible. We just need our ding dongs and toothpaste and we will be happily on our way.