Today the mister and I took a trip to Lowe's. It's one of our favorite places to go and browse.

We didn't need anything, we just went to look.

We combed through the new displays of outdoor lawn furniture. I fell in love with a two man hammock that doesn't catapult its' occupants. We took a quick break to test out my newest infatuation. I must have it.

Then we perused through shovels, rakes, and gardening gloves. I love the idea that all of these items inspire projects around the yard. I could buy a shovel today, take it home and dig a hole for something. Oh the possibilities!

We love going to Lowe's because we just love a project. If we can't think of one before we go, we've got lots of plans by the time we leave.

When we were finished we had visions of gardens, decks, pools, new furniture and casseroles. (They have an amazing magazine selection you know.)

What we really left with was,

a cooking magazine

a new pocket knife

a furniture making magazine

a new grill light

and poster puddy.

I feel a project coming on!

Confessions

Things I should have never bought and the pain that they have caused me...

I love you red shoe. You are so beautiful but oh so painful. You make my feet hurt within two seconds of our reunions. You should have stayed at the store shiny and new sitting on your high shelf for all to see.

Pretty pretty clearance vase you were suppose to inspire and uplift my drab downstairs bathroom. Instead you torture me with your glares of I told you so from your hidden corner home.
Big bouncy pink ball, you were suppose to melt the pounds from my big bouncy butt. Instead you play with my kids and take up lots of space. Trader!

Stridex and dry skin cream, you promised me soft heals when you appeared on Oprah. You sit in the back of the cupboard and stare at me and my cracked heals. You are too messy and too tiring at the end of the day. Please go away!

Super hip scarf; you match nothing I own. I cannot spend another dime on your existence. I will find you a new home with someone who doesn't get sweaty and itchy whenever you are on them.

Clearance dress... that's all you ever were to me. One joyous moment, late at night, you left me with remorse and a twin of you in black. You are corduroy and short sleeved... that should have been my first red flag. You shame me every time I look in my little girl's closet.

Crafting projects that mock me laying unfinished. You turned out to be too much work. You will be turned over to my mini crafting princess to play with. We had dreams, but they are gone now.

Healthy grain bread that promised to make me skinny. I hate you and your taste. You look uninviting and disgusting next to my fluffy white bread. It's over between us.

The Swamp Monster

There are times when things don't work out quite as smoothly as they were planned. Case in point; This morning I was scheduled to go to Target and at the designated time I was not yet showered. I had been doing house work and had lost track of time. I weighed my options and it was either skip Target or go unshowered. I really really needed a few things from the store so I opted to just go and hope that I wouldn't see anyone I know. Right there should have been my giant waving red flag. If you hope to be anonymous at the store, the general rule is that you will see everyone you know. But, I ignored my intuition, grabbed a hat and headed out the door. My plan was to slink my way through the isles wearing my sweats with my hat pulled down low in hopes that I would not have to make eye contact with anyone. Inevitably it ended up more like that show, this is your life... Enter, stage left, old friend from high school that you have not seen in years. A few isles down is another mom from school who is looking particularly cute today. Then a friend of your husbands, an old acquaintance from church, or how about the nurse from your last doctor's appointment. You name 'um, I see 'um. Then comes the awkward moment of conversation when you have to choose to ignore the fact that you look like the swamp monster or acknowledge it. Never, NEVER again will I try to do a quickie run to the store unshowered. Although I already know that I will eventually do it again when the embarrassment of this visit has worn off. I have taken the kids to school in swamp monster mode and had to talk to teachers, parents and other kids. My child has announced in front of their class before that, "My mom is still in her jammies! She hasn't showered yet!" Thank you, wonderful child of mine, for out-ing me in front of everyone, just in case there was one or two people left who weren't sure.

And so I'm calling out to all of you overachievers who go to the store, school and other places fulled dressed, make-up on and smiles ready. Please have pity on the rest of us and avert your eyes when we slink by. We want to be invisible. We just need our ding dongs and toothpaste and we will be happily on our way.