Friday, February 19, 2010

My Freak Secret of the Day


I cannot pee with the door open.

There, I said it.

I have been married over 11 years and I still have trouble peeing with the door open. I get the stage fright. I don't like anyone infringing on my personal time.

When my kids were little, I would be forced to pee with the door open during the day because you just never know with kids. I liked to be within ear shot. Then, as the kids got older, I started closing the door. Now, my bathroom breaks go something like this...

Me: Running upstairs as quietly as possible so I don't draw any attention to myself.

Kids: They can feel my presence lift from the room. It's their sixth sense I swear.

Me: I make it to the door, shut it, and quick lock it for safety. Business proceeds.

Kids: They get an instant need for my attention.

Me: thump thump thump... I can actually hear them coming for me!

Kids: Moooooooom! I need to talk to you! Are you almost done yet? What are you doing in there? I really need you right NOW! Come on Moooooom!

This all happens within a matter of seconds. It never fails. So, my bathroom breaks are clipped to a minimum. It's no wonder I like a little alone time with the door shut.



Oh, uh wait... excuse me for just a moment, I need to use the little ladies room. Shhhhhh, pleeease don't tell anyone!

8 comments:

kristen said...

You are so funny. Right now I can pee on demand, but that is not always the case. I need to start locking the door because whenever I am in there it seems like that is when someone "needs" me the most, and right away. I am sure that will pass some time.

connie said...

I only live with Lar, and I still close and lock the door. Weird, huh? Just in case one of the kids comes over. I didn't do that one time when a son-in-law came to visit and OHHHHHHHHHHH there I was.

the Heatons said...

That's funny. I must say, I can pee on demand. Are you jealous? I cannot pee in the lake, though. Just can't make it happen.

The Snow Queen said...

Dave won't appreciate this, but he cannot pee if anyone is in there with him. Not me, not the kids, not anyone can't squeeze a drop out! Poor thing. I think I could pee if the president of the United States was in there interrogatig me. I however lock the door sometimes just for a little break.

The Snow Queen said...

I just read the Wonderwoman post. So dang funny! I did the same thing a little while ago. I caught a glimpse of myself in the miror and though is that what I REALLY look like? Apparently it is. I'll just keep the image in my head alive and pretend like I don't know. That'll work. kinda... for a while. I guess.

*Abby* said...

I can usually sneak off to the little girls room, but the hubby cannot. As soon as he comes home from work, the kids know right where he is at ALL times! Gotta love it!

Kassy said...

Come on over to our house. No one EVER closes the door. EVER. Even if we have guests. You'd fit right in.

JennRose said...

I was reading this and laughin out loud! When my husband and I were dating, I lived in a one room apartment, the bathroom just off the bedroom/kitchen/livingroom so I would go to pee and he knew I hated that he could hear me, so when he did he would say "I hear you peeing!" I've gotten over that in the last ten years, but he still teases me "I hear you peeing!"

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