Monday, September 26, 2011

The perfect baby shower gift

I have four kids.  I consider myself to be some what of a veteran when it comes to babies.  When it comes to baby showers, I always have conflicted ideas as to what I should buy the new mother to be.  Here is a short list of things I have considered.

1.  Duct tape and a leash  (Do you know how many times I've wished for that?)

2.  Sound proof head phones (Have 'um-- better yet, I use 'um.)

3.  Hand sanitizer and bleach (I think this is self explanitory-- eew!)

4.  Shop vac and a steam cleaner (barf, pee, poop-- use your imagination)

5.  GPS locator (and duct tape to stick it to the kids' head)

6.  100 binkies (they run away-- it's a proven fact, I swear)

7.  Doubles of all silky blankets (We had 2-- the first was called woobie and the second was called the fake-out woobie.  It totally worked.)

8.  Extra set of keys  (...make that 2 extra sets-- not that I know anything about that.)

9.  A baseball hat and sunglasses (sometimes morning comes a little too soon for public appearances)

10.  A gift certificate to have yourself cloned.  (Seriously, you need 4 eyes, 4 hands, and two brains to keep up with children.)

Sadly enough I usually go with what's on sale at Target.  Just once I'd like to see the reaction to a few of these. 

What would you give?


Mandi@TidbitsfromtheTremaynes said...

Dude, I'd go with the 100 binkies. I am SO SICK OF TRYING TO FIND BINKIES.

Catherine Hansen Peart said...

Oh, I could have used ALL of this list! Hilarious!

Kiera said...

the tree car air freshener thingies all blinged out and turned into a necklace...I smelled like rotten milk for ages and would have loved some sparkly pine fresh thing to just toss around my neck...

I Am Momma - Hear Me Roar said...

Totally the 100 binkies. Baden hasn't used one in a year and a half and I just found one the other day. They just magically disappear and don't reappear until you don't need them anymore.


jodie noted said...

I'm a fairly new follower of yours and just have to tell you how much I love your blog. I love a blogger with a sense of humor!

This may sound terrible, but I think every newborn should come with a complimentary DVR. Seriously! I know I would have appreciated it. :)

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