Sunday, September 11, 2011

Naughty Words are NAUGHTY

One of my kids came home from school completely mad at me the other day.

Me:  What's the problem?

Kid:  You never tell me anything!!

Me:  Um... OK, like what?

Kid:  Like, naughty words!

Me:  So you want me to list all of the naughty words to you?

Kid:  No!  That would be wrong!

Me:  So what are you looking for here?

Kid:  Well, all the kids at school tell jokes and I don't get 'um.  They like to tell me because I don't know what they are talking about and it makes them all laugh.

Me:  So, you want me to tell you dirty jokes or what?

Kid:  No!  I just want to know what they are talking about and not have to have everything explained to me.

Me:  What kind of jokes are they telling?

Kid:  They tell me to say Idaho.  What does that even mean?

Me:  (thinking really hard as to how Idaho could be nasty)  Oh, got it.  I-da-ho!  Get it... I'm the ho?

Kid:  Um, yeah, still not getting it.

Me:  A ho is a girl who has sex with lots of boys.  Same as skank, slut... yucky girls.

Kid:  (completely mortified that I used naughty words)  You know what they say in church?  They say if you don't tell me stuff like this, kids at school will.  So I can learn it from you or I can learn it from kids at school.  I'M LEARNING IT FROM KIDS AT SCHOOL MOM!

Me:  Um... I'm still confused.  Do you want the dirty words list?

Kid:  No!  Mooooom!

So, where am I suppose to go with this one?   


Simply Mommy said...

lmao...I have the complete opposite problem...I have the boys who have learned a little to much from their friends that I had to create money jars so that they loose money from their allowance when they say something inappropriate. Good Luck! :0)

Karen said...

Awesome. You should make a bad words dictionary for all of your kids. It's always good to have a reference. I'm sure something like that would never get misused.

The Snow Queen said...

I da Ho... funny stuff. Those Utah kids they're so nasty. Shoulda moved to California.

Lyndsay said...

I had the same problem growing up. My mom had no problem explaining things to me when I asked, but I had no idea. For example, one day in class (10th grade maybe???) we were picking names for class teams and someone picked the number 69 and everyone thought it was hilarious. I had no idea what everyone was laughing at.

I loved your conversation though. I would have been just as confused as you. =)

Laura at Ms. Smartie Pants said...

New to your blog and this was the 1st post I read! I think I'm hooked!!! I suggest at bedtime you and your son looking up a word in the urban dictionary each night? :) Awww this world we live in! Good luck!

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