Sunday, September 11, 2011
One of my kids came home from school completely mad at me the other day.
Me: What's the problem?
Kid: You never tell me anything!!
Me: Um... OK, like what?
Kid: Like, naughty words!
Me: So you want me to list all of the naughty words to you?
Kid: No! That would be wrong!
Me: So what are you looking for here?
Kid: Well, all the kids at school tell jokes and I don't get 'um. They like to tell me because I don't know what they are talking about and it makes them all laugh.
Me: So, you want me to tell you dirty jokes or what?
Kid: No! I just want to know what they are talking about and not have to have everything explained to me.
Me: What kind of jokes are they telling?
Kid: They tell me to say Idaho. What does that even mean?
Me: (thinking really hard as to how Idaho could be nasty) Oh, got it. I-da-ho! Get it... I'm the ho?
Kid: Um, yeah, still not getting it.
Me: A ho is a girl who has sex with lots of boys. Same as skank, slut... yucky girls.
Kid: (completely mortified that I used naughty words) You know what they say in church? They say if you don't tell me stuff like this, kids at school will. So I can learn it from you or I can learn it from kids at school. I'M LEARNING IT FROM KIDS AT SCHOOL MOM!
Me: Um... I'm still confused. Do you want the dirty words list?
Kid: No! Mooooom!
So, where am I suppose to go with this one?