Thursday, October 6, 2011

Teacher Conferences

We had teacher conferences yesterday. 

I always dread teacher conferences.  It's not what you think.

My children get all A's and they never EVER have discipline problems at school.

So why the dread?

It has become apparent to me that each of my children have dual personalities.  They have a school person and a home person.  I like to test out how much the teacher actually knows my child or rather, the child I know at home.

I asked the first teacher, "So do you notice that she does just enough to get by?"  The teacher responded, "No, she goes above and beyond with her work and participation!  It's awesome!"

You know what's not so awesome?  My toilet is not feeling the same way about her work skills.  Mysterious how that work ethic just sorta comes and goes.

I asked another teacher, "Do you have focus issues with him?"  The teacher acts surprised,"I never have focus issues with him.  He is always alert and paying attention in class."

Not exactly the same reaction I get when asking him to turn off the TV to do his homework.  Not even close to the same reaction I get when asking him for the twentieth time to pick up his dirty underwear.

"Do you think my child is a stress case?"  The teacher looks puzzled, "No, she seems to take everything in strides."

This same kid is flailing on the ground freaking out about all the things she has to do and how it all has to be perfect and how she doesn't have time for any of it.  This happens almost daily.  The teacher is clueless.

The last kid's teacher was shocked that I was concerned about the moodiness of my child and his constant yelling voice.  She told me she couldn't believe it.  This was one of her model students that she uses as an example for the other kids every day.

Same kid at home yells everything he says.  Not in a mad way but in a very loud way.  He is also an extremely passionate kid.  Easily angered and very hard to cajole into doing his homework.

After my meetings I went home and confronted the guilty.

"So you guys save all your crazies for me?!?" 

First kid replies, "Um, yeah mom!  I wouldn't want the other kids at school to think I'm a weirdo!"  Second kid pipes up, "My teacher gives me candy when I'm good and I'm not passing that up!"  I reminded them of all the times that I had given them treats and prizes... I got nothing but blank stares.  Another kid adds, "Well, at school we have to sit in desks and stuff so we have to be good."  I offered to install desks at home that day.  I didn't have any takers.

"This is crap!  I birthed you and I get all the drama?"

Today when I dropped my children off to school, I looked at them a little differently.  I swear I could actually see them transform and put on their school best. 

It's so not fair!


Petula said...

You are absolutely right! It isn't fair. I recently had parent teacher conferences as well and my children's teachers are just short of shocked and dismayed, surprised and appalled at the stories. Big Sigh! Is it possible to hold protests or something? Because I think this totally needs to stop.

Love this post. :-)

Xuan said...

Your stories are hilarious. Thanks for putting a smile on my face.

JennRose said...

As I teacher, I can say that I have had the opposite problem before...the child was horrible in class and APPARENTLY and angel at home..... hmmmm. denial?

Catherine Hansen Peart said...

I have exactly the same problem! Thank heavens they aren't as crazy at school I guess... that would be embarrassing!

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