The Mister

Meet the Mister.

Man of mystery, super spy, tre chic, and cheesy Dad extraordinaire.

The Mister and I had some fun together trying to find the perfect pair of sunglasses for him.  We went to Target and hung out in the glasses section trying anything and everything on.  It was a hoot.  After narrowing it down a bit we thought we needed another opinion so we started asking around.  Some random lady told us just what she thought.  I asked her if they looked a bit too girly.  She assured the Mister that they didn't.  But she thought they would look much better when the tag was removed because it proved to be a bit distracting.  Point taken.  Glasses purchased.

We were going for the Michael Weston look.  (You know, Burn Notice on USA... come on, you don't watch Burn Notice?  Well, you really should.  It's a sweet awesome spy show with lots of fun action.  We're hooked.  You should look into it.  Really.)

What do you think?  Are they a keeper?

Hot Hot Hot

Yesterday was a great day.

I got so much stuff done.  We cleaned the house, mowed the lawn and went for a family bike ride.  It felt so good.  When we were all finished I was so sweaty and dirty.  All I wanted to do was hit the showers.

I headed upstairs and peeled off my ripe clothes.  I turned on the water and waited.... and waited.... and waited. 

Nothing happened.  No hot water.

I yelled down to the Mister and he went to work trying to figure out what was wrong.

I absolutely HATE being dirty and going to bed nasty was not happening for me.  I couldn't put on my nasty clothes again-- eeww.  I didn't want to get new clothes dirty making more work for myself.

That meant that I sat on our couch in a towel reading a book for several hours debating my options.



I could heat up water on the stove...
I could call my sister and go to her house...
I could try to brave a really really cold shower....
I could wash one part of my body at a time giving me time to warm up between parts....

None of it was sounding too appealing.

I love hot water.  I really really do.  It is my friend everyday. 

Three hours, a little finger pointing, some pouting and several internet inquires later... we finally had hot water.

I am officially addicted to hot water.  I will never take my shower for granted again.  I LOVE hot water.  It's that simple.

So a big thank you to the Mister for spending his time crouched over the hot water heater instead of enjoying some down time last night.  I really love that guy.

Matching Morons

We took the kids to Six Flags this week.  The Mister had it in his head that he wanted us to match so we could stay together as a group easier.  We had these bike safety t-shirts from a local event and the Mister thought they would be perfect for a day of family fun.

I announced the idea to the kids and the response was very mixed.

The boys and Z could care less.

Breckyn was a harder sell.

Breckyn:  There is NO WAY I'm wearing that shirt to Six Flags!  It's the ugliest shirt I have ever seen and I'm going to match everyone.  That is so stupid!

Me:  Come on it won't be that bad.  We'll be able to find each other really easily and it really means a lot to your Dad.

Breckyn:  No way Mom!  I'm not doing it!

Me:  Come on I'll show you how to tie a knot in your shirt and we can decorate it to be a little more girlie if you want.

She could not be persuaded so I had to take the opposite approach and make her wear it.  I'm not really sure why the Mister was so set on it-- but it was happening whether B wanted it to or not.

Before we left I forgot to pack the sunscreen so I had the Mister pull off at Wal-Mart to grab some.  Everyone wanted to come in to try and snag a last minute treat so we all headed into the store.  I had forgotten that we were all matching until I saw the looks on peoples faces as we strolled through the isles. 

I was humiliated!  Not only do we match but we are wearing NEON ORANGE.  No one can pull off that color casually.  We hurry to the check out and the checker takes one look at us and says, "So what's with the shirts?" 

I lean into Tim and say, "I'm officially with Breckyn on this one."  Breckyn catches wind of my sudden turn in alliance and says, "It's not too late to buy some new shirts here Mom--- PLEASE!" 

We got to the park and sure enough, it was pretty easy to find each other.  In fact, we could find each other from space we were so bright.  I knew it was bad when we started getting comments from other people in line about the brightness of our shirts.

We made it through the rest of our humiliation day without losing anyone (believe it or not).  The Mister washed up our shirts really quickly when we got home and is now using them as a threat to Breckyn every chance he can get.

Anyone else ever tried to do the matching thing before?

My Mister

This post is dedicated to my Mister for Super Dad Day.

I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world.  I spent the first half of my life wandering around wondering what true love would feel like.  I've spent the second half of my life living it. 

My Mister is the second half of me.  We think just alike, we act alike and together we are an amazing team.  Some people say that the longer you are married to someone the harder it is to find that spark.  I'm here to tell you that that's not true.  The longer I have been married to the Mister the more I've fallen in love with him.

He is an awesome Dad.  He supports me so that I have the energy to be an awesome Mom.  Every Thursday night, for years now, he has taken the kids so I can go out with my sisters and have a break.  Yes, ladies-- that's every Thursday night!!  When the kids were younger it was really hard for me to let go and trust him to watch the kids.  I slowly realized that I had nothing to worry about even if he didn't do things exactly like I did.  He has stepped up to the plate time and time again.  It has enhanced his relationships with the kids and also given him some serious Daddy skills. 

Not only does he watch the kids but he does something super fun with them too.  They have done science night, hikes, kites, paper airplanes, movies, explorations, shopping, eating out, making messes, shooting off rockets and having a whole lot of fun.  The kids look forward to the time they get to spend with their Dad doing things that Mom would never let them do. 

The Mister has a way of making me feel pretty and wonderful.  He always tells me how beautiful I am even if I think I look horrible.  He likes to surprise me with things that I really like or something that I really want.  He is always offering to help me in some way weather its cooking dinner or taking out the trash-- he'll do it.  He is also our resident bug-killer-snake-catcher-nasty-creature-getter too.  I could NEVER do that without him.  EEEWWW!

I really think I've been blessed with the perfect guy for me.  He makes me want to be a better person.  He uplifts and never tears me down.  He is my best friend and I just love him.

So here's to you Mister.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

Jump Day!

Today was jump day for the Mister!  The whole house was bursting with excitement.  But just as we were getting to the airport the weather was starting to change for the worse.  We weren't sure if he'd still be able to go but we totally lucked out and the weather held just long enough for one good jump. 

Here's the sky starting to change a bit.

The Mister getting all geared up to go.  Are you getting nervous yet?

The kids were right on his heals so they wouldn't miss a second of anything.

Here he goes...

No turning back now...

Its a bird, its a plane, its super Dad!

We got to see him do a few tricks and then land in the field.

Safe and sound back on the ground.  Wheew!

The kids peppered him with two million questions.  He was loving it!

They let the kids explore the plane and pretend to fly.

I think this little guy has a few ideas to be just like his daddy.

As we were leaving the clouds started looking pretty angry.  We got in the car and it started pouring.  It was awesome!

Way to go Mister Man!  WOOO HOOO!

Father's Day Jump

I have had the perfect Father's Day gift purchased for about a month now.

I am so excited!

I told my mom and my sisters and they seemed to think that it was a good idea to let the Mister simmer in the plans instead of just springing it on him last minute.

I'm not so good at keeping secrets and I made it an entire month without a peep.

Well, the other night I decided it was time to tell him so he could get ready.

I got him SKYDIVING!!!!

This is something that has been on his bucket list since before we got married.  It's finally time.

He was really excited when I told him but even better than that was the kids' reaction.

Zoey:  You're totally going to pee your pants Dad!

Em:  What if you chute doesn't open?  Then you'll probably die Dad.

Rugs:  If you die can I have your truck?

(They quickly divided up everything from his truck, his tools, his computer, and even his side of the bed. They were thinking this out a little too well for the Mister's taste.)


Zoey:  This is so awesome!  Can I tell my friends at school?

Rugs:  Can we come and watch you?

They peppered him with questions for the rest of the evening which was highly entertaining.

It's going to be a couple of really loooong days until jump day.  But soooo worth it!

Best Father's Day EVER!  (Although it's going to be hard to top this next year.)

Mexico or Bust!

I really tried to apply all of my talents during Mexican Torture 2010.  (For those of you reading about this for the first time-- I'm not racist, My husband HATES my Mexican cooking.  Go HERE for the full story.)

I came across a recipe that I thought sounded good and then I tweaked it to my own standards.  It went like this.

Mexican Gumbo (I was going to call it Mexican Dump but anything with dump in the title just doesn't sound appealing-- right?)

4 chicken breasts (frozen, thawed-- whatever)
1 can diced chilies
1 Can pinto beans (drained)  (you can use black beans if you like that better)
1 Can cream of chicken soup
1 Cup salsa (the hotter, the spicier the dish)
1 packet taco (or fajita) seasoning

Cook in the Crock Pot for a few hours.  (until chicken is shreddable)  When you are ready to serve, take out the chicken and shred it.  Return the chicken to the pot and stir it up.  Serve with a dollop of sour cream and some cheddar cheese sprinkled over the top. 

You can tweak this recipe any way you like.  You can try it with pork or beef.  You can serve it in a burrito, over rice, as a taco salad, with chips, heck you can even toss in some lettuce if you'd like.  That's the beauty of this thing.  You can have it just how you like it.  Yum!

The best news is-- the Mister liked it.  See-- empty plate is a good sign.  That means Mexican torture 2010 is coming to an end.  (Seriously, I'm not sure my bowels can handle any more.  I need a break-- shhhh, don't tell.)

Viva Mexico! (or at least their burritos)

Mexican Monster!

I love Mexican food something fierce.  I love to go to Mexican restaurants and order all sorts of spicy things.  I try to pay attention to the flavors so I can recreate the dishes at home. 

I made a beautiful enchilada dish the other night.  When we sat down to the table the Mister informed me that he does not care for my taste in Mexican food.  He thinks my Mexican cooking is gross.

I was shocked!  I have been cooking Mexican dishes for the 11 years we've been married.  This is the first I've heard of this.

Luckily for him I'm not one to back down from a challenge.  So I rolled up my sleeves and began to cook. 

A few nights later I presented him with not one but TWO different burrito dishes to test for dinner.  I informed him that I would be cooking Mexican food every night until I found one that he liked.  (no pressure)

He quickly scooped up the burrito and claimed it to be the best he ever ate.  I'm on to his little game.  I will continue his Mexican torture until I am satisfied that he likes something.

Game on Mister, game on!

Lobster Boy

Yesterday the family had lots of different activities to go to.  The Mister and I split into teams to get everyone where they needed to go.  When it was my turn with the kids, the Mister decided to take a break with a book outside.

He was laying in the sun enjoying his book and sporting shorts for the first time this season.  He told me it was so nice to just relax and re-energize for a new week.

Although, later that night things began to catch up with him...
He was shocked that he burned. 

Me:  Well, you were basically laying out.  You were just missing the baby oil and teen heat magazines.

The Mister:  I wasn't laying out.  I was reading my book.

Me:  What do you think laying out is?  You are basically just sitting still for the sun to fry you.

It was clear to me that he has never been a white teenage girl.  I believe I tried baby oil, water spritzing, lemon juice (to make my hair highlight "naturally"), sun-in (remember that stuff?!-- also for highlights) and my main problem was that I could never sit still long enough for any of it to work. 

The mister-- he sat still long enough for the sun to do its thing.

Now I have instant giggles every time I look at my lobster boy.

hee hee hee!

Ahhh, Love

I love having a family.

I feel so comfortable in my own home.

I know that the mister and I have a great relationship.  Want to know how I know that?

Well, the other night we are sitting on the couch together and I've got my legs in his lap.  We are having a nice conversation about our week ahead when the hugest sneeze hits me.  I sneeze so hard a squeaked out a really loud fart.  I look at him and he starts busting up. 

You know it's love when you fart and they can laugh with you about it.

Isn't love grand?

iPhone Envy

I want an iPhone more than anything!

I've been dropping hints to the mister for quite some time now.  (at least a year)  This past December I had the mister in the store, iPhone in hand and a willingness in his heart when a sales lady asked if she could help us.  I panicked because I didn't want the mister to be distracted or deterred in any way until my phone was purchased and safely resting in my purse.

She kindly offered to check my cell phone account and see if I qualified for my annual update.  (I'm thinking, you know I won't-- it never works out that perfectly!  Just go away stupid sales lady!)

My phone did not qualify for an update until April 15th.  (duh, of course it doesn't)  She told us if we waited I could save several hundred dollars in the purchase of my new phone.  (wait is a four letter word in my book)

Grrrrr!  That's just what the mister wanted to hear.  She was basically telling him to run for his life and abandon all plans of making his wife the happiest woman in the world.

I hate that lady.

The mister told me that it was probably better if we waited and saved a little cash.  He blabbed on about how my cell phone was just fine and it wouldn't kill me to wait a bit.  (He said this very smugly for a man with an iPhone resting quietly in his pocket.)

I conceded and made him mark the date in his calendar as "the day my wife will be happy."  Then I made some well placed comments in his direction to remind him of my our plans.  My answers to questions go like this, "Hmmm... good question, I think I'll look it up on my iPhone.  Oh, that's right, I don't have one."

You may have noticed that April 15th has come and gone and I'm still crabbing about my iPhone or rather my lack of.  The mister found THIS ARTICLE on CNN that says iPhone is coming out with its next generation in a few months.  He thinks I should wait just a little longer and have the newest model.

I have a bit of a patience problem.  I am a now person.  The fact that I've waited this long is a small miracle.

This also smells a little of I-don't-really-want-to-spend-the-money-so-I'm-stringing-you-out.


Should I wait?  Perhaps I'll distract him with THE LAWN MOWER and go buy the damn thing myself.  I think I could hide it a few weeks-- maybe.

Digger's Hotline

The mister was doing a little work in our back yard this week.  He called digger's hotline and asked them to come and mark the electric and gas lines.  They were all booked up until next week. 

Well, he didn't let a silly little thing like that stop him.  During a digging break the gas guy called and said he could come right away.  Perfect.

I went to go see how it went and I found this.

Ummm...  whup-see-ding-dongs!

Sometimes I wonder how this guy is still alive with all of his crazy stunts.

Breaking Hearts and Wind

The mister and I love to go out on dates together.  We make a point to either get a babysitter or put the kids to bed early and get pizza and a movie.  It happens every Friday night.

When we head out on the town we try to spice things up like we did when we were dating.  The mister will dab on a little cologne and I'll put on a little extra make up.  He even opens the car door for me.

On one such occasion I told him how cute I thought it was that he always opened my car door and tucked me in before going over to his side of the car while we were dating.

His reply was classic...

"I only did that so I could go around the back of the car and fart without you noticing!"

My prince.

My Little White Lie

When the Mister and I were dating, we talked about our future life together in romantic bliss.  Wanting to be everything for him that he was for me, I may have misled him a little about my hobbies and interests.

His family is into camping and outdoor-sy stuff and he was a dedicated Eagle Scout that loved a good campout.  So naturally I wanted him to feel that I would support him and our future family by showing interest in camping.

I was lying through my snooty white teeth.

In an attempt to right my lie, shortly after we were married I took a camping class at college.  We studied ways to build a fire, safety, knots, nature and for the final, we had to go on a three day camping trip in the mountains.

We were instructed to bring our camper pies (You know the meat and potatoes tinfoil wraps-- yuck!) to have an opening meal together as a class.  On my way to camp I stopped at Mc D's and grabbed a burger and quickly wrapped it in tinfoil.  I ate quietly in the corner while my fellow classmates enjoyed their wilderness food. 

As the night wore on I quickly realized that I was going to have to brave the outhouse or explode.  I waited until the last possible second and then braved going inside.  I approached the hole with mixed feelings.  On the one hand, I really had to go.  On the other, there was a deep dark hole of abomination that I was not about to straddle.  I let out a little shriek of terror and decided that it was a better idea to pee behind a tree a few yards away.  I mark that as a particularly low moment in my life.

Then came the horror of sleeping outside, bugs and all, wind blowing and nothing but my thin sleeping bag to separate me from the elements.  I froze my tushie off.  I didn't sleep a wink.

I tried really really hard but I'll be the first to admit that I officially hate camping!

My idea of camping is sleeping with the window open.  You have all the comforts of home mingled with the sounds of nature breezing in through your portal to the outdoors.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good camp fire, some hot dogs and s'mores.  But I could do without the outhouses, lack of water and no showering. 

To show my ever generous support, I had the mister install a fire pit in our back yard.  We can have a camp fire moment anytime we want while still being shower fresh.

That sounds reasonable-- right?

The sad part is, I've kinda rubbed off on my kids.  I let them "camp" from time to time by setting up a tent in our front room.  They love it and so do I.

S'mores anyone?

Burn Baby Burn

As you know, I've had a few spats with the winter blues in the past. I live here in Wisconsin where the sun doesn't shine for months of the year.

In a recent attempt to fight off my sunless days, I've turned to my friend the tanning bed.

The thing about tanning is, it's more fun to do it with a friend. So, naturally I talked the mister into coming with me.

He was a bit hesitant, being a tanning bed virgin, but I talked him into it. The tanning place has beds that last 20 minutes for $6.50. That being said, they do not like to let butt white people into the beds for more than 8 minutes because of the burn factor. Although, they will still take all of your $6.50 no matter how long you sit in the bed. AARGGHH!

I want to get all of the time I can into this trip because I PAID FOR THE WHOLE THING DANG IT! So I smooth talk the lady into letting us each stay in our beds for 12 minutes. (That's waaaaay better than 8 you know.)

I quickly escort the mister back to his room and give him a mini tutorial of what he should do. My main suggestion to him was to keep his light under a barrel so he wouldn't burn his

unmentionables. Then I scurried off to my room to enjoy my 12 minutes of faux sunshine.

12 minutes later I emerge happy and snuggly warm. The mister has enjoyed his brush with vanity and lived through yet another of my hair brained ideas.

Several Hours Later....

B: Dad, are you hot?

The Mister: No

B: 'Cause your face looks really really red.

The Mister: I'm fine.

B: Are you feeling stressed?

The Mister: No

B: Are you sure? 'Cause your cheeks are all red. It looks like you got sunburned or something.

The Mister: Ah, no... I'm not sunburned or anything. Why would I be sunburned? (she knows!!!) I'm just fine.

The Mister quick speed dials me while I'm at the store and quizzes me about my skin. I'm feeling just fine but after a little more prodding from B the mister looked in the mirror.

LOBSTER FEST 2010!

I don't think he'll ever be going with me to the tanning salon again. But at least I almost got my money's worth-- right?

I'm glad you see the positive in this too.

Hey, anyone want to go for a tan?

Today the mister and I took a trip to Lowe's. It's one of our favorite places to go and browse.

We didn't need anything, we just went to look.

We combed through the new displays of outdoor lawn furniture. I fell in love with a two man hammock that doesn't catapult its' occupants. We took a quick break to test out my newest infatuation. I must have it.

Then we perused through shovels, rakes, and gardening gloves. I love the idea that all of these items inspire projects around the yard. I could buy a shovel today, take it home and dig a hole for something. Oh the possibilities!

We love going to Lowe's because we just love a project. If we can't think of one before we go, we've got lots of plans by the time we leave.

When we were finished we had visions of gardens, decks, pools, new furniture and casseroles. (They have an amazing magazine selection you know.)

What we really left with was,

a cooking magazine

a new pocket knife

a furniture making magazine

a new grill light

and poster puddy.

I feel a project coming on!

The mister has a new favorite saying that goes like this:

you can't shine a turd

(I know, classy-- right?)

Well, he has been inserting it in conversation all over the place to see how it will be received. So tonight we are sitting with the kids before bed and he says it.

Z Kid: What does that even mean Dad?

The Mister: It means that it's bad no matter what you do to it, just like a turd.

R Kid: Well, you could put googly eyes on the turd that would make it look better.

B Kid: Maybe a wig and some arms and legs. That would make it way cuter.

The Mister: But at the end of the day it's still a turd, stinky and gross.

Kids: Wow, you're right Dad.

The mister is our guru master. So mystical and mysterious. It's hot!

A Saavy Girl's Guide to Budgeting

Yeah, that's about how I feel about budgeting. Every here and there the mister and I have a little talk about money. He talks, I pretend to listen. Since our relationship is rather traditional (he makes it, I spend it) these talks get slightly uncomfortable for me.

Here are a few of my finest moments after having "the talk..."

1. I just stop going grocery shopping. (total money saver) I'm currently working on week two of no shopping. Last night the kids wrestled over the last of our Pizza Hut left overs and tonight we are having breakfast for dinner. In another day or two he'll be begging me to go spend some money.

2. When in need of cash, I go to target, buy some toilet paper and get cash back on my debit card. This is valid "supplies" for the house with a little something on the side for me.

3. After coming home from the mall I tell the mister what the price was and how much I didn't have to pay for it. Coupons are my little red devils.

4. I offer to make the mister something nasty for dinner as an option for not eating out. That one gets him every time.

5. If all else fails, I tell the mister, it could be worse. I could have a serious yacht addiction or something. When taken to the extreme, I always look better.


Happy Budgeting!

Movie Madness

Last night the mister and I went out on a hot hot date. We started with dinner and ended with a movie. Now, that might sound like a yawn fest to some of you but hey, it's our kind of fun. We went to a fun Mexican restaurant near us and we always have to get the table side guacamole. I have seen this done many many times and I can never get it quite right when I get home. I think I was freaking the guac guy out I was staring so hard. No matter, I think I have perfected the recipe and guac guy was willing to over look my freakishness once I stuffed his tip jar.

Then comes the awkward part of the date for the mister and I. I like to go to Target and buy some candy and a water bottle so I don't have to pay three million dollars for a treat at the movies. This has been a source of contention for us for many years. The mister thinks its wrong to sneak treats into the movies. It is assumed at most theaters that they prefer you not to bring your own contraband. Case in point; Rewind about twenty years or so. My sister and I are sitting in a dark movie theater watching Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. We have slipped in two bottles of Clearly Canadian and we are both enjoying them with discretion. I have gulped mine down before Bill and Ted discover the phone booth. My sister however, enjoys drawing out her enjoyments a bit. This time it came back to bite her. An oily teenager with a movie theater vest comes in with a flashlight and busts us for our illegal beverage sneak. He takes hers away! She hasn't even had half of it yet. She is outraged! I am outraged! How can they do this to us?!?! It's not like it's against the law! The mister thinks that it is dishonest to sneak and I say-- bring it on! First they slap you with $12 to get in (it was 3-D) and then they charge you 6 bucks for some popcorn. POPCORN! Everybody knows it's the cheapest stuff on earth. I will not stand for this blatant price tweaking. Sure I'll have to pay the bloated price to get in the door. (By the time we pay to get in, it's basically the price of the DVD in a few months.) But that's where this dance ends for me. I WILL HAVE MY MOVIE AND MY CANDY TOO! This one is for you and your controversial Clearly Canadian little sis! To sneak or not to sneak-- that is the question...